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LOVELL’S LIBRARY-CATALOGUE. 


1. Hyperion, Longfellow -.20 

2. Outre-Mer, do .20 

3. The Happy Boy, BjOm- 

8on 10 

4. Arne, by BjOrnson ... .10 

5. Frankenstein, Shelley. .10 

6. Last of the Mohicans. .20 

7. Clytie, Joseph Hatton. .20 

8. The Moonstone, Part I .10 

9. TheMoonstoue, Partn .30 
sO. Oliver Twist, Dicl^ens. ^20 

11. Coming Race, Lytton. .10 

12. Leila, by LordLytton. .10 

13. The Three Spaniards.. .20 

14. The Tricks of the 

Greeks Unveiled 20 

15. L’ Abbe Constantin. .. .20 

16. Freckles, by Redclifl. .20 

17. The Dark Colleen, Jay .20 

18. They were Married!.. .10 

19. Seekers after God 29 

20. The Spanish Nun 10 

21 . Green Mountain Boys .20 

22. Fleurette, Scribe 20 

23. Second Thoughts 20 

24. The New Magdalen. . . .20 

25. Divorce, Margaret Lee .20 

26. Life of Washington... ,20 

.27. Social Etiquette 15 

28. Single Heart and Dou- 
ble Face, Chas. Reads .10 

29. Irene, by Carl Detlef, . .20 

30. Vice Versa, F. Anstey .20 

31. Ernest Maltravers 20 

32. The Haunted House. .10 

33. John Halifax, Mulock .20 

34. 800 Leagues on the 

Amazon, by Verne.. .10 

35. The Cryptogram..... .10 

36. Life of Marion 20 

37. Paul and Virginia 10 

38. Tale of Two Cities 20 

39. The Hermits, Kingsley .20 

40. An Adventure in 
. Thule, and Marriage 

of M. Fergus, Black. .10 

41. Marriage in High Life. .20 

42. Robin, by Mrs. Parr. . 

43. Two on a Tower..... 

44. Rasselas, Di’. Johnson .10 

45. Alice; or. Mysteries.. .20 

46. Duke of Kandos 20 

47. Baron Munchausen... .10 

48. A Princess of Thule. . . .20 

49. The Secret Despatch. . JiO 

50. Early Days of Chris- 

tianity 20 

Do., Part II 20 

TjI. Vicar of Wakefield. . . .10 

52. Progress and Poverty. .20 

53. The Spy, by Cooper.. .20 
"i. East Lynne, Mrs Wood 

■ * Strange Story 20 

am Bede,Eliot,P’t I .15 

Part n 15 

Golden Shaft 20 

ia, by The Duchess .20 
Days of Pompeii, .20 
'wo Duchesses. . . .20 


61. Tom Brown’s School 

Days 20 

62. The Wooing O’t, P,t I .15 
The Wooing 0’t,P’t II .15 

63. TheVendeta. Balzac. .20. 

64. Hypatia, by Kingsley, .15 

. Do., Part II 15 

65. Selma, by Mrs. Smith* .15 

66. Margaret ^nd her 

Bridesmaids .20 

GT.i.Horae Shoe Robinsom .15 
Do., Rart II .15 

68. Gulliver’s Travels.' . ; . .20 

69. Amos Barton, by Eliot .10 

70. The Berber, by Mayo, .20 

71. Silas Marner, by Eliot .10 

72. Queen of the County . . 20 

73. Life of Cromwell, Hood. 15 

74. Jane Eyre, by Bront#, .20 

75. Child’s Hist. England. .20 
70. Molly Bawn, Duchess .20 

77. Pillone, by BergsOe. . . .15 

78. Phyllis, The Duchess. .20 

79. Romola, Eliot, Part I. .15 
Romola, Eliot, Part II ,15 

80. Science in Short Chap- 

ters .20 

81. Zanoni, by Lytton 20 

82. A Daughter of Heth... .20 

83. The Right and Wrong 

Uses of the Bible 20 

84. Night and Morniug. . . .15 

Do., Part II 15 

85. Shandon Bells, Black. .20 

86. Monica, The Duchess. .10 

87. Heart and Science 20 

88. The Golden Calf 20 

89. The Dean’s Daughter. .20 

90. Mrs. Geoffrey, Duchess .20 

91. Pickwick Papers, P’tl .20 

Do., Part II 20 

92. Airy, Fairy Lilian .20 

93. Macleod of Dare 20 

94. Tempest Tossed. 20 

Do., Part II 20 

95. Letters from High Lat- 

itudes, Earl Dufferiu .20 

96. Gideon Fleyce 20 

97. India and Ceylon 20 

98. The Gypsy Queen, 20 

99. The Admiral’s Ward.. .20 

100. Nimport, Bynner, P’tl .15 

N import, Part II 15 

101. Harry Holbrooke 20 

102. Tritons, Bynner, P’tl. .15 

Tritons, Part II 15 

103. Let Noth’g You Dismay. 10 

104. Lady Audley’s Secret. 20 

105. Woman’s Place To-day .20 

106. Dunallan,by Kennedy .15 

Do., Part II 15 

107. Housekeeping and 

Homemaking 15 

108. No New Tuing, Norris .20 

109. Spoopendyke Papers. .20 

110. False Hopes 15 

111. Labor and Capital 20 

112. Wanda, Ouida, Part I. .15 
Wanda, Part II. . . ; . . . .15 


II. 3. More Words about 

the Bible 20 

I II. Monsieur Lecoq, P’t I .20 
Monsieur Lecoq, P’t II .20 

115. Outline of Irish Hist. ,10 

116. The Lerouge Case 20 

117. Paul Clifford, Lytton. .20 

118. A New Lease of Life. . .20 

119. Bourbon Lilies, 20 

120. Other People’s Money .20 

121. The Lady of Lyons, .10 

122. Ameline.du Bourg. .. .15 

123. A Sea Qdeen, Russell. .20 

124. The Ladies Lindores.. 20 

125. Haunted Hearts 10 

126. Loys, Lord Beresford, .20 

127., Under Two Flags 20 

Do. (Ouida), Part II,.. .20 

128. Money, Lord Lytton . . .Iq 

129. In Peril of his Life.. . .20 

130. India; What Can it 

Teach Us? M. Miiller .20 

131. Jets and Flashes 20 

132. Moonshine and Mar- 

guerites 10 

183. Mr. Scarborough’s 

Family 15 

Do., Part II 15 

134. Arden, Mary Robinson .15 

135. Tower of Percemont. . .20 

136. Yolande, Wm. Black. .20 

137. Cruel London, Hatton ,20’ 

138. The Gilded Clique ^ 

139. Pike County Folks.. . .20 

140. Cricket bu the Hearth .10 

141. Henry Esmond 20 

142. Strange Adventures of 

a Phaeton .20 

143. Denis Duval, Thack- 

eray 10 

144. Old Curiosity Shop .15 

Do., Part II .15 

145. Ivanhoe, Scott, P’tl. .15 

Do., Part II .15 

146. White Wings, Black. .20 

147. The Sketch Book 20 

148. Catherine, Thackeray .10 

149. Janet’s Repentance,. .10 

150. Barnaby Rudge, P’tl .15 
Barnaby Rudge, PtII .15 

151. Felix Holt, by Eliot. . .20 

152. Richelieu, by Lytton. .10 

153. Sunrise, Black, P’tl. .15 

Do , Part II .15 

154. Tour of the World in 
Eighty Days, Verue .20 

155. Mystery of Orcival... .20 

156. Lovel, the Widower. . .10 

157. Romantic Adventures 
of a Milkmaid. Hardy .10 

158. David Copperfleld 20 

Do., Part II 20 

159. Charlotte Temple 10 

160. Rieuzi, Lytton, Part 1 .15 

Do., Part II 15 

161. Promise of Marriage. .10 

162. Faith and Unfaith ... .20 

163. The Happy Man 10 

164. Barry Lyndon 20 


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“Mercantile Library, ) 
“Baltimore August 29, 1883. [ 

“ Will you kindly send me two copies of your latest list ? I am 
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“ S. C. DONALDSON, Assistant Librarian.’’ 


JOHN W. LOVELL CO., Publishers, 

14 <2c IQ ’Vesey Street, New ITorls.. 


THE 

ROSE AND THE RING 

OR, THE 

HISTORY OF PRINCE GIGLIO 
AND PRINCE BULBO 


A 

FIRESIDE PANTOMIME 

OF GREAT AND SMALL CHILDREN 


BY 


MR. M. A. TITMARSH. 


NEW YORK: 

JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY, 

14 AND 16 Vesey Street. 




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PRELUDE. 


It happened that the undersigned spent the last Christmas 
season in a foreign city where there were many English chil- 
dren. 

In that city, if you wanted to give a child’s party, you could 
not even get a magic-lantern or buy Twelfth-Night characters — 
those funny painted pictures of the King, the Queen, the Lover, 
the Lady, the Dandy, the Captain, and so on — with which our 
young ones are wont to recreate themselves at this festive time. 

My friend Miss Bunch, who was governess of a large family 
that lived in the Piano Nobile of the house inhabited by myself 
and my young charges (it was the Palazzo Poniatowski at 
Rome, and Messrs. Spillmann, two of the best pastry-cooks in 
Christendom, have their shop on the ground floor) : Miss 
Bunch, I say, begged me to draw a set of Twelfth-Night char- 
acters for the amusement of our young people. 

She is a lady of great fancy and droll imagination, and 
having looked at the characters, she and I composed a history 
about them, which was recited to the little folks at night, and 
served as our fireside pantomime. 

Our juvenile audience was amused by the adventures of 
Giglio and Bulbo, Rosalba and Angelica. I am bound to say 
the fate of the Hall Porter created a considerable sensation j 
and the wrath of Countess Gruffanuff was received with extreme 
pleasure. 

If these children are pleased, thought I, why should not 
others be amused also ? In a few days Dr. Birch’s young 
friends will be expected to re-assemble at Rodwell Regis, where 
they will learn everything that is useful, and under the eyes of 
careful ushers continue the business of their little lives. 

(*6s) 


i66 


PRELUDE. 


But, m tne meanwhile, and for a brief holiday, let us laugh 
and be as pleasant as we can. And you elder folks — a little 
joking, and dancing, and fooling will do even you no harm. 
The author wishes you a merry Christmas, and welcomes you 
to the Fireside Pantomime. 

M. A. TITMARSH. 

December^ 1854. 



THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


I. 

SHOWS HOW THE ROYAL FAMILY SAT DOWN TO BREAKFAST. 

This is Valoroso XXIV., King of Paflagonia, seated with bis 
Queen and only child at their royal breakfast-table, and receiv- 
ing the letter which announces to his Majesty a proposed visit 
from Prince Bulbo, heir of Padella, reigning King of Grim 
Tartar}^ Remark the delight upon the monarch’s royal fea- 
tures. He is so absorbed in the perusal of the King of Grim 
Tartary’s letter, that he allows his egg to get cold, and leaves 
his august muffins untasted. 

“ What ! that wicked, brave, delightful Prince Bulbo ! ” cries 
Princess Angelica; “so handsome, so accomplished, so witty — 
the conqueror of Rimbombamento, where he slew ten thousand 
giants ! ” 

“ Who told you of him, my dear ? ” asks his Majesty. 

“A little bird,” says Angelica. 

“ Poor Giglio ! ” says mamma, pouring out the tea. 

(167) 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


1 68 

. “ Bother Giglio ! ” cries Angelica, tossing up her head, which 
rustled with a thousand curl-papers. 

“ I wish,” growls the King — “ I wish Giglio was * * * * ” 

“Was better? Yes, dear, he is better,” says the Queen. 
“ Angelica’s little maid, Betsinda, told me so when she came to 
my room this morning with my early tea.” 

“ You are always drinking tea,” says the monarch, with a 
scowl. 

“ It is better than drinking port or brandy-and-water,” re- 
plies her Majesty. 

“ Well, well, my dear, I only said you were fond of drinking 
tea,” said the King of Paflagonia, with an effort as if to com- 
mand his temper. “ Angelica ! I hope you have plenty of new 
dresses ; your milliners’ bills are long enough. My dear Queen, 
you must see and have some parties. I prefer dinners, but of 
course you will be for balls. Your everlasting blue velvet quite 
tires me : and, my love, I should like you to have a new neck- 
lace. Order one. Not more than a hundred or a hundred and 
fifty thousand pounds.” 

“ And Giglio, dear ? ” says the Queen. 

“ Giglio may go to the ” 

“Oh, sir!” screams her Majesty. “Your own nephew! 
our late King’s only son.” 

“ Giglio may go to the tailor’s, and order the bills to be sent 
in to Glumboso to pay. Confound him ! I mean bless his 
dear heart. He need want for nothing ; give him a couple of 
guineas for pocket-money, my dear: and you may as well 
order yourself bracelets while you are about the necklace, 
Mrs. V.” 

Her Majesty, or Mrs. V., as the monarch facetiously called 
her (for even royalty will have its sport, and this august family 
were very much attached), embraced her husband, and, twining 
her arm round her daugheer’s waist, they quitted the breakfast- 
room in order to make all things ready for the princely 
stranger. 

When they were -gone, the smile that had lighted up the 
eyes of the husband and father fled — the pride of the King^^A 
— the MAN was alone. Had I the pen of a G. P. R. James, I 
would describe Valoroso’s torments in the choicest language; 
in which I would also depict his flashing eye, his distended 
nostril — his dressing-gown, pocket-handkerchief, and boots. 
But I need not say I have not the pen of that novelist : suffice 
it to say, Valoroso was alone. 

He rushed to’ the cupboard, seizing from the table one of 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


169 

the many egg-cups with which his princely board was served fot 
the matin meal, drew out a bottle of right Nantz or Cognac, 
filled and emptied the cup several times, and laid it down with 
a hoarse “ Ha, ha, ha ! now Valoroso is a man again. 

“ But oh ! ” he went on, (still sipping, I am sorry to say,) 
“ ere I was a king, I needed not this intoxicating draught ; 
once I detested the hot brandy wine, and quaffed no other 
fount but nature’s rill. It dashes not more quickly o’er the 
rocks, than I did, as, with blunderbuss in hand, I brushed 
away the early morning dew, and shot the partridge, snipe, or 
antlered deer ! Ah ! well may England’s dramatist remark, 
‘Uneasy lies the head that w^ears a crowm ! ’ Why did I steal 

my nephew’s, my young Giglio’s 1 Steal ! said I .? no, no, 

no, not steal, not steal. Let me withdraw that odious expres- 
sion. I took, and on my manly head I set, the royal crown of 
Paflagonia ; I took, and with my royal arm I wield, the scep- 
tral rod of Paflagonia ; I took, and in my outstretched hand 
I hold, the royal orb of Paflagonia ! Could a poor boy, a sniv- 
elling, drivelling boy — was in his nurse’s arms but yesterday, 
and cried for sugar-plums and puled for pap — bear up the 
awful weight of crown, orb, sceptre ? gird on the sword my 
royal fathers wore, and meet in fight the tough Crimean foe ? ” 

And then the monarch went on to argue in his own mind 
(though we need not say that blank verse is not argument) that 
what he had got it was his duty to keep, and that, if at one time 
he had entertained ideas of a certain restitution, w’hich shall be 
nameless, the prospect by a certain marriage of uniting two 
crowns and two nations which had been engaged in bloody and 
expensive wars, as the Paflagonians and the Crimeans had been, 
put the idea of Giglio’s restoration to the throne out of the 
question : nay, were his own brother. King Savio, alive, he 
would certainly will away the crown from his own son in order 
to bring about such a desirable union. 

Thus easily do we deceive ourselves ! Thus do we fancy 
what we wish is right ! The King took courage, read the 
papers, finished his muffins and eggs, and rang the bell for his 
Prime Minister. The Queen, after thinking whether she should 
go up and see Giglio, who had been sick, thought, “ Not now. 
Business first ; pleasure afterwards. I will go and see deal 
Giglio this afternoon ; and now I will drive to the jeweller’s, to 
look for the necklace and bracelets.” The Princess went up 
into her own room, and made Betsinda, her maid, bring out all 
her dresses ; and as for Giglio, they forgot him as much as I 
forget what I had for dinner last Tuesday twelvemonth. 


170 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


II. 

HOW king valoroso got the crown, and prince giglio 

WENT WITHOUT. 

Paflagonia, ten or twenty thousand 3*ears ago, appears to 
have been one of those kingdoms where the laws of succession 



were not settled ; for when King Savio died, leaving his brothei 
regent of the kingdom, and guardian of Sa-vio’s orphan infant, 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


171 


this unfaithful regent took no sort of regard of the late mon- 
arch’s will ; had himself proclaimed sovereign of Paflagonia 
under the title of King Valoroso XXIV., had a most splendid 
coronation, and ordered all the . nobles of the kingdom to pay 
him homage; So long as Valoroso gave them plenty of balls 



at Court, plenty of money and lucrative places, the Paflagonian 
nobility did not care who was king ; and, as for the people, in 
those early times they were equally indifferent. The Prince 
Giglio, by reason of his tender age at his royal father’s deaths 

12 


172 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


did not feel the loss of his crown and empire, .^s long as he 
had plenty of toys and sweetmeats, a holiday five times a week, 
and a horse and gun to go out shooting when he grew a little 
older, and, above all, the company of his darling cousin, the 
King’s only child, poor Giglio was perfectly contented ; nor 
did he envy his uncle the royal robes and sceptre, the great 
hot uncomfortable throne of state, and the enormous cumber- 
some crown in which that monarch appeared from morning till 
night. King Valoroso’s portrait has been left to us ; and I 
think you will agree with me that he must have been sometimes 
7'ather tired of his velvet, and his diamonds, and his ermine, and 
his grandeur. I shouldn’t like to sit in that stifling robe, with 
such a thing as that on my head. 

No doubt, the Queen must have been lovely in her youth; 
for though she grew rather stout in after life, yet her features, 
as shown in her portrait, are certainly pleasing. If she was 
fond of flattery, scandal, cards, and fine clothes, let us deal 
gently with her infirmities : which, after all, may be no greater 
than our own. She was kind to her nephew ; and if she had 
any scruples of conscience about her husband’s taking the 
young Prince’s crown, consoled herself by thinking that the 
King, though a usurper, was a most respectable man, and that 
at his death Prince Giglio would be restored to his throne, and 
share it with his cousin, whom he loved so fondly. 

The Prime Minister was Glumboso, an old statesman, who 
most cheerfully swore fidelity to King Valoroso, and in whose 
hands the monarch left all the affairs of his kingdom. All 
Valoroso wanted was plenty of money, plenty of hunting, plent}’’ 
of flattery, and as little trouble as possible. As long as he had 
his sport, this monarch cared little how his people paid for it : 
he engaged in some wars, and of course the Paflagonian news- 
papers announced that he gained prodigious victories : he had 
statues erected to himself in every city of the empire ; and of 
course his pictures^placed everywhere, and in all the print- 
shops : he was Valoroso the Magnanimous, Valoroso the Vic- 
torious, Valoroso the Great, and so forth ; — for even in these 
early times courtiers and people knew liow to flatter. 

This royal pair had one only child, the Princess Angelica, 
who, you may be sure, was a paragon in the courtiers’ eyes, in 
her parents’, and in her own. It was said she had the longest 
hair, the largest eyes, the slimmest waist, the smallest foot, and 
the most lovely complexion of any young lady in the Pafla- 
gonian dominions. Her accomplishments were announced to 
GLiC even superior to her beauty ; and governesses used to shame 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


173 


their idle pupils by telling them what Princess Angelica could 
do. She could play the most difficult pieces of music at sight. 
She could answer any one of “ Hangnail’s Questions.” She 
knew every date in the history of Paflagonia, and every other 
country. She knew French, English, Italian, German, Span- 
ish, Hebrew, Greek, Latin, Cappadocian, Samothracian, ^gean, 
and Grim Tartar. In a word, she was a most accomplished 
young creature ; and her governess and lady-in-waiting was the 
severe Countess Gruffanuff. 



Would you not fancy, from this picture, that Gruffanuff 
must have been a person of the highest birth ? She looks so 
haughty that I should have thought her a princess at the very 
least, with a pedigree reaching as far back as the Deluge. But 


*74 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


this lady was no better born than many other ladies who give 
themselves aiis ; and all sensible people laughed at her absurd 
pretensions. The fact is, she had been maid-servant to the 
Queen when her Majesty was only Princess, and her husband 
had been head footman ; but after his death, or disappearance., 
of which you shall hear presently, this Mrs. Gruffanuff, by flat- 
tering, toadying, and wheedling her royal mistress, became a 
favorite with the Queen (who was rather a weak woman), and 
her Majesty gave her a title, and made her nursery governess 
to the princess. 

And now I must tell you about the princess’s learning and 
accomplishments, for which she had such a wonderful char- 
acter. Clever Angelica certainly was, but as idle as possible. 
Play at sight, indeed ! she could play one or two pieces, and 
pretend that she had never seen them before ; she could 
answer half a dozen “ Mangnall’s Questions ; ” but then you 
must take care to ask the right ones. As for her languages, 
she had masters in plenty, but I doubt whether she knew more 
than a few phrases in each, for all her pretence ; and as for 
her embroidery and her drawing, she showed beautiful speci- 
mens, it is true, but who did them ? 

This obliges me to tell the truth, and to do so I must go 
back ever so far, and tell you about the Fairy Blackstick. 


III. 

TELLS WHO THE FAIRY BLACKSTICK WAS, AND WHO WERE 
EVER SO MANY GRAND PERSONAGES BESIDES. 

Between the kingdoms of Paflagonia and Crim Tartary, 
there lived a mysterious personage, who was known in those 
countries as the Fairy Blackstick, from the ebony wand or 
crutch which she carried : on which she rode to the moon 
sometimes, or upon other excursions of business or pleasure, 
and with which she performed her wonders. 

When she was young, and had been first taught the art of 
conjuring by the necromancer her father, she was always 
practising her skill, whizzing about from one kingdom to an- 
other upon her black stick, and conferring her fairy favors 
upon this prince or that. She had scores of royal godchildren ; 
turned numberless wicked people into beasts, birds, mill-stones, 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


175 

clocks, pumps, bootjacks, umbrellas, or other absurd shapes ; 
and, in a word, was one of the most active and officious of 
the whole college of fairies. 

But after two or three thousand years of this sport, I sui> 
pose Blackstick grew tired of it. Or perhaps she thought, 
“ What good am I doing by sending this princess to sleep for 
a hundred years ? by fixing a black j^udding on to that booby’s 
nose ? by causing diamonds and pearls to drop from one little 
girl’s mouth, and vipers and toads from another’s ? I begin to 
think I do as much harm as good by my performances. I 
might as well shut my incantations up, and allow things to take 
their natural course. 

“ There were my two young goddaughters. King Savio’s 
wife and Duke Padella’s wife : I gave them each a present, 
which was to render them charming in the eyes of their hus- 
bands, and secure the affection of those gentlemen as long as 
they lived. What good did my Rose and my Ring do these 
two women t None on earth. From having all their whims 
indulged by their husbands, they became capricious, lazy, ill- 
humored, absurdly vain, and leered and languished, and fancied 
themselves irresistibly beautiful, when they were really quite 
old and hideous, the ridiculous creatures ! They used actually 
to patronize me when I went to pay them a visit ; — me., the 
Fairy Blackstick, who knows all the wisdom of the necroman- 
cers, and who could have turned them into baboons, and all 
their diamonds into strings of onions, by a single wave of my 
rod ! ” So she locked up her books in her cupboard, declined 
further magical performances, and scarcely used her wand at 
all except as cane to walk about with. 

So when Duke Padella’s lady had a little son (the Duke 
was at that time only one of the principal noblemen in Crim 
Tartary), Blackstick, although invited to the christening, would 
not so much as attend ; but merely sent her compliments and 
a silver papboat for the baby, which was really not worth 
a couple of guineas. About the same time the Queen of Pafla- 
gonia presented his Majesty with a son and heir ; and guns 
were fired, the capital illuminated, and no end of feasts or- 
dained to celebrate the young prince’s birth. It was thought 
the Fairy, who was asked to be his godmother, would at least 
have presented him with an invisible jacket, a flying liorse, a 
Fortunatus’s purse, or some other valuable token of her favor ; 
but instead, Blackstick went up to the cradle of the child 
Giglio, when everybody was admiring him and complimenting 
his royal papa and mamma, and said, “ My poor child, the best 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


176 

thing I can send you is a little misfortune and this was ail 
she would utter, to the disgust of Giglio’s parents, who died 
very soon after ; when Giglio’s uncle took the throne, as we 
read in Chapter I. 

In like manner, when Cavolfiore, King of Grim Tartary, 
had a christening of his only child, Rosalba, the Fairy Black- 
stick, w'ho had been invited, was not more gracious^ than in 
Prince Giglio’s case. Whilst everybody was expatiating over 
die beauty of the darling child, and congratulating its parents, 
the Fairy Blackstick looked very sadly at the baby and its 
mother, and said, “ My good woman ” — (for the Fairy was very 
familiar, and no more minded a queen than a washerwoman) 
— “ my good woman, these people who are following you will be 
the first to turn against you ; and, as for this little lady, the 
best thing I can wish her is a little 7nisfortuneE So she touched 
Rosalba with her black wand, looked severely at the courtiers, 
motioned the Queen an adieu with her hand, and sailed slowly 
up into the air out of window. 

When she was gone, the Court people, who had been awed 
and silent in her presence, began to speak. What an odious 
Fairy she is,” they said, — “ a pretty fairy, indeed ! Why, she 
went to the King of Paflagonia’s christening, and pretended 
to do all sorts of things for that family ; and what has hap- 
pened — the Prince her godson has been turned off his throne 
by his uncle. Would we allow our sweet Princess to be de- 
prived of her rights by any enemy? Never, never, nevei:, 
never ! ” 

And they all shouted in a chorus, “Never, never, never, 
never ! ” 

Now, I should like to know kow did these fine courtiers 
show their fidelity ? One of King Cavolfiore's vassals, the 
Duke Padella just mentioned, rebelled against the King, who 
went out to chastise his rebellious subject. “ Any one rebel 
against our beloved and august Monarch ! ” cried the courtiers ,• 
“ any one resist him ! Pooh ! He is invincible, irresistible. 
He will bring home Padella a prisoner, and tie him to a don- 
key’s tail, and drive him round the town, saying, ‘ This is the 
way the great Cavolfiore treats rebels.’ ” 

The King went forth to vanquish Padella ; and the poor 
Queen, who was a very timid, anxious creature, grew so fright- 
ened and ill, that I am sorry to say she died ; leaving injunctions 
with her ladies to take care of the dear little Rosalba. Of 
course they said they would. Of course they vowed they would 
die rather than any harm should happen to the Princess. At 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


177 


first the Crim Tarta?- Coui't journal stated that the King was 
obtaining great victories over the audacious rebel : then it was 
announced that the troops of the infamous Padella were in 
flight : then it was said that the ro3^al army would soon come 
up with the enemy, and then — then the news came that King 
Cavolfiore was vanquished and slain by his Majesty, King 
Padella the First ! 

At this news, half the courtiers ran off to pay their duty to 
the conquering chief, and the other half ran away, laying hands 
on all the best articles in the palace ; and poor little Rosalba 
was left there quite alone — quite alone : she toddled from one 
room to another, crying, “ Countess ! Duchess ! ” (only she 
said “ Tountess, Duttess,” not being able to speak plain) 
“ bring me my mutton-sop ; my Royal Highness hungry ! 
Tountess ! Duttess ! ” And she went from the private apart- 
ments into the throne-room, and nobody was there ; — and 
thence into the ball-room, and nobody was there ; — and thence 
into the pages’ room, and nobody was there ; — and she toddled 
down the great staircase into the hall, and nobody was there ; 
— and the door was open, and she went into the court, and 
into the garden, and thence into the wilderness, and thence 
into the forest where the wild beasts live and was never heard 
of any more ! 

A piece of her torn mantle and one of her shoes were 
found in the wood in the mouths of two lioness’s cubs, whom 
King Padella and a royal hunting-party shot — for he was 
King now, and reigned over Crim Tartary. “ So the poor 
little Princess is done for,” said he. “ Well, what’s done can’t 
be helped. Gentlemen, let us go to luncheon ! ” And one of 
the courtiers took up the shoe and put it in his pocket. And 
there was an end of Rosalba ! 


IV. 

HOW BLACKSTICK WAS NOT ASKED TO THE PRINCESS ANGELICA’S 
CHRISTENING. 

When the Princess Angelica was born, her parents not 
only did not ask the Fairy Blackstick to the christening party, 
but gave orders to their porter, absolutely to refuse her if she 


178 THE ROSE AND THE RING. 

called. This porter’s name was Gruftanuff, and he had been 
selected for the post by their Royal Highnesses because he was 
a very tall fierce man, who could say “Not at home ” to a 
tradesman or an unwelcome visitor with a rudeness which 
frightened most such persons away. He was the husband of 
that Countess whose picture we have just seen, and as long as 
they were together they quarrelled from morning till night.' 
Now this fellow tried his rudeness Once tpo often, as you shall 
hear. For the Fairy Blackstick coming to call upon the Prince 
and Princess, who were actually sitting at the open drawing- 
room window, Gruffanuff not only denied them, but made the 
most odious vulgar sign as he was going to slam the door in the 
Fairy’s face ! “ Git away, hold Blackstick ! ” said he. “ I 

tell you. Master and Missis ain’t at home to you : ” and he was, 
as we have said, going to slam the door. 

But the Fairy, with her wand, prevented the door being 
shut ; and Gruffanuff came out again in a fury, swearing in the 
most abominable way, and asking the Fairy “ whether she 
thought he was a-going to stay at that there door hall day ? ” 

“ You are going to stay at that door all day and all night, 
and for many a long year,” the Fairy said, very majestically; 
and Gruffanuff, coming out of the door, straddling before it 
with his great calves, burst out laughing, and cried “ Ha, ha, 
ha ! this is a good ’un ! Ha — ah — what’s this ? Let me down 
— oh — o — h’m ! ” and then he was dumb ! 

For, as the Fairy waved her wand over him, he felt himself 
rising off the ground and fluttering up against the door, and 
then, as if a screw ran into his stomach, he felt a dreadful pain 
there, and was pinned to the door ; and then his arms flew up 
over his head ; and his legs, after writhing about wildly, twisted 
under his body ; and he felt cold, cold growing over him, as if 
lie was turning into metal ; and he said, “ Oh — o — h’m ! ” and 
could say no more, because he was dumb. 

He was turned into metal ! He was from being hrazeji^ 
brass ! He was neither more nor less than a knocker ! And 
there he was, nailed to the door in the blazing summer day, 
till he burned almost red hot ; and there he was, nailed to the 
door all the bitter winter nights, till his brass nose was drop- 
ping with icicles. And the postman came and rapped at him, 
and the vulgarest boy with a letter came and hit him up against 
the door. And the King and Queen (Princess and Prince they 
were then) coming home from a walk that evening, the King 
said, “ Hullo, my dear ! you have had a new knocker put on 
the door. Why, it’s rather like our Porter in the face ! What 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


179 

has become of that boozy vagabond ? ” And the housemaid 
came and scrubbed his nose with sandpaper ; and once, when 
the Princess Angelica’s little sister was born, he was tied up in 
an old kid-glove ; and another night some larking young men 
tried to wrench him off, and put him to the most excruciating 
agony with a turnscrew. And then the Queen had a fancy to 
have the color of the door altered, and the painters dabbed him 
over the mouth and eyes and nearly choked him, as they painted 
him pea-green. I warrant he had leisure to repent of having 
been rude to the Fairy Blackstick ! 

As for his wife, she did not miss him ; and as he was always 
guzzling beer at the public-house, and notoriously quarrelling 
with his wife, and in debt to the tradesmen, it was supposed he 
had run away from all these evils, and emigrated to Australia 
or America. And when the Princess chose to become King 
and Queen, they left their old house, and nobody thought of 
the Porter any more. 


V. 

HOW PRINCESS ANGELICA TOOK A LITTLE MAID. 

One day, when the Princess Angelica was quite a little gir , 
she was walking in the garden of the palace, with Mrs. Gruft- 
anuff, die governess, holding a parasol over her head, to keep 
her sweet complexion from the freckles, and Angelica was carry- 
ing a bun, to feed the swans and ducks in the royal pond. 

They had not reached the duck-pond, when there came 
toddling up to them such a funny little girl. She had a great 
quantity of hair blowing about her chubby little cheeks, and 
looked as if she had not been washed or combed for ever so 
long. She wore a ragged bit of a cloak, and had only one 
shoe on. 

“ You little wretch, who let you in here ? ” asked Gruff- 
anuff. 

“ Dive me dat bun,” said the little girl, “ me vely hungy.” 

“ Hungry ! what is that ? ” asked Princess Angelica, and 
gave the child the bun. 

“Oh, Princess J” says Gruffanuff, “how good, how kind, 
12* 


l 8 o the rose and the ring. 

how truly angelical you are ! See, your Majesties,” she said 
to the King and Queen, who now came up, along with their 
nephew. Prince Giglio, “ how kind the Princess is 1 She met 
this little dirty wretch in the garden — I can’t tell how she came 
in here, or why the guards did not shoot her dead at the 
gate ! — and the dear darling of a Princess has given her the 
whole of her bun ! ” 

“ I didn’t want it,” said Angelica. 

“ But you are a darling little angel all the same,” says the 
governess. 

“ Yes ; I know I am,” said Angelica. “ Dirty little girl, 
don’t you think I am very pretty ? ” Indeed, she had on the 
finest of little dresses and hats ; and as her hair was carefully 
curled, she really looked very well. 

“ Oh, pooty, pooty ! ” says the little girl, capering about, 
laughing and dancing, and munching her bun ; and as she ate 
it she began to sing, “ O what fun to have a plum bun 1 how I 
wis it never was done ! ” At which, and her funny accent, 
Angelica, Giglio, and the King and Queen began to laugh very 
merrily. 

“ I can dance as well as sing,” says the little girl. “ I can 
dance, and I can sing, and I can do all sorts of ting.” And she 
ran to a flower-bed, and pulling a few polyanthuses, rhododen- 
drons, and other flowers, made herself a little wreath, and 
danced before the King and Queen so drolly and prettily, that 
everybody was delighted. 

“ Who was your mother — who were your relations, little 
girl ? ” said the Queen. 

The little girl said, “ Little lion was my brudder ; great big 
lioness my mudder; neber heard of any udder.” And she 
capered away on her one shoe, and everybody was exceedingly 
diverted. 

So Angelica said to the Queen, “ Mamma, my parrot flew 
away yesterday out of its cage, and I don’t care any more for 
any of my toys ; and I think this funny little dirty child will 
amuse me. I will take her home, and give her some of mv old 
frocks ” 

Oh, the generous darling ! ” says Gruffanuff. 

“ — Which I have worn ever so many times and am quite 
tired of,” Angelica went on; “ and she shall be my little maid.. 
Will you come home with me, little dirty girl ? ” 

The child clapped her hands and said, “ Go home with you 
— yes! You pooty Princess! Have a nice dinner, and weal 
a new dress ! ” 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


l8i 


And they all laughed again, and took home the child to the 
palace ; where, when she washed and combed, and had one of 
the Princess’s frocks given to her, she looked as handsome as 
Angelica, almost. Not that Angelica ever thought so ; for this 
little lady never imagined that anybody in the world could be 
as pretty, as good, or as clever as herself. In order that the 
little girl should not become too proud and conceited, Mrs. 
Gruffanuff took her old ragged mantle and one shoe, and put 
them into a glass box, with a card laid upon them, upon which 
was written, “These were the old clothes in which little Bet- 
siNDA was found when the great goodness and admirable kind- 
ness of her Royal Highness the Princess Angelica received this 
little outcast.” And the date was added, and the box locked 

For awhile little Betsinda was a great favorite with the Prin- 
cess, and she danced, and sang, and made her little rhymes, to 
amuse her mistress. But then the Princess got a monkey, and 
afterwards a little dog, and afterwards a doll, and did not care 
for Betsinda any more, who became very melancholy and quiet, 
and sang no more funny songs, because nobody cared to hear 
her. And then, as she grew older, she was made a little lady’s- 
maid to the Princess ; and though she had no wages, she 
worked and mended, and put Angelica’s hair in papers, and 
was never cross when scolded, and was always eager to please 
her mistress, and was always up early and to bed late, and at 
hand when wanted, and in fact became a perfect little maid. 
So the two girls grew up, and, when the Princess came out, 
Betsinda was never tired of waiting on her ; and made her 
dresses better than the best milliner, and was useful in a hun- 
dred ways. Whilst the Princess was having her masters, Betsinda 
would sit and watch them ; and in this way she picked up a 
great deal of learning ; for she was always awake, though her 
mistress was not, and listened to the wise professors when An- 
gelica was yav/ning or thinking of the next ball. And when the 
dancing-master came, Betsinda learned along with Angelica; 
and when the music-master came, she watched him, and prac- 
tised the Princess’s pieces when Angelica was away at balls and 
parties ; and when the drawing-master came, she took note of 
all he said and did ; and the same with French, Italian, and all 
other languages — she learned them from the teacher who came 
to Angelica. When the Princess was going out of an evening 
she would say, “ My good Betsinda, you may as well finish what 
I have begun.” “ Yes, Miss,” Betsinda would say, and sit down 
very cheerful, not to Jiyiish what Angelica began, but to do it. 


i 82 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


For instance, the Princess would begin the head of a warrior, 
let us say, and when it was begun it was something like this ; 



But when it was done, the warrior was like this : — 



(only handsomer still if possible,) and the Princess put her 
«ame to the drawing ; and the Court and King and Queen, and 
above all poor Giglio, admired the picture of all things, and 
said, “ Was there ever a genius like Angelica ? ” So, I am 
sorry to say, was it with the Princess’s embroidery and other 
accomplishments ; and Angelica actually believed that she did 
these things herself, and received all the flattery of the Court 
as if ever}^ word of it was true. Thus she began to think that 
there was no young woman in all the world equal to herself, and 
that no young man was good enough for her. As for Betsinda, 
as she heard none of these praises, she was not puffed up by 
them, and being a most grateful, good-natured girl, she was 
only too anxious to do everything which might give her mistress 
pleasure. Now you begin to perceive that Angelica had faults 
of her own, and was by no means such a wonder of wonders as 
people represented her Royal Highness to be. 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


’^3 


VI. 

HOW PRINCE GIGLIO BEHAVED HIMSELF. 

And now let us speak about prince Giglio, the nephew of 
the reigning monarch of PaflagoniJi. It has already been 
stated, in chapter 2, that as long as he had a smart coat to 
wear, a good horse to ride, and money in his pocket — or rather 
to take out of his pocket, for he was very good-natured — my 
young Prince did not care for the loss of his crown and sceptre, 
being a thoughtless youth, not much inclined to politics or any 
kind of learning. So his tutor had a sinecure. Giglio would 
aot learn classics or mathematics, and the Lord Chancellor of 
Paflagonia, Squaretoso, pulled a very long face because the 
Prince could not be got to study the Paflagonian laws and 
constitution ; but, on the other hand, the King’s gamekeepers 
and huntsmen found the Prince an apt pupil ; the dancing- 
master pronounced that he was a most elegant and assiduous 
scholar ; the First Lord of the Billiard Table gave the most 
flattering reports of the Prince’s skill ; so did the Groom of 
the Tennis Court ; and as for the Captain of the Guard and 
Fencing-master, the valiant and veteran Count Kutasoff Hed- 
ZOFF, he avowed that since he ran the General of Grim Tartar)^ 
the dreadful Grumbuskin, through the body, he never had en- 
countered so expert a swordsman as Prince Giglio. 

I hope you do not imagine that there was any impropriety 
in the Prince and Princess walking together in the palace 
garden, and because Giglio kissed Angelica’s hand in a polite 
manner. In the first place they are cousins ; next, the Queen 
is walking in the garden too (you cannot see her, for she hap- 
pens to be behind that tree), and her Majesty always wished 
that Angelica and Giglio should marry: so did Giglio : so did 
Angelica sometimes, for she thought her cousin ver}^ handsome, 
brave, and good-natured : but then you know she was so clever 
and knew so many things, and poor Giglio knew nothing, and 
had no conversation. When they looked at the stars, what did 
Giglio know of the heavenly bodies t Once, when on a sweet 
night in a balcony where they were standing Angelica said, 
There is the Bear ” — “ Where } ” says Giglio. “ Don’t be 
afraid, Angelica ! if a dozen bears come, I will kill them rathei 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 



gelica, though she liked Giglio pretty well, despised him on 
account of his ignorance. I think she probably valued her own 
learnmg rather too much ; but to think too well of one’s self is 
the fault of people of all ages and both sexes. Finally, when 
nobody else was there, Angelica liked her cousin well enough. 

King Valoroso was very delicate in health, and withal so 
fond of good dinners (which were prepared for him by his 
French cook, Marmitonio, that it was supposed he could not 
live long. Now the idea of anything happening to the King 
struck the artful Prime Minister and the designing old lady-in- 
waiting with terror. For, thought Glumboso and the Countess, 


than they shall hurt you.” “ Oh, you silly creature ! ” says 
she : “ you are very good, but you are not very wise.” When 
they looked at the flowers, Giglio was utterly unacquainted 
with botany, and had never heard of Linnaeus. When the 
butterflies passed, Giglio knew nothing about them, being as 
ignorant of entomology as I am of algebra. So you see. Am 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


185 

“when Prince Giglio marries his cousin and comes to the 
throne, what a pretty position we shall be in, whom he dislikes, 
and who have always been unkind to him. We shall lose our 
places in a trice ; Gruffanuff will have to give up all the jewels, 
laces, snuff-boxes, rings, and watches which belonged to the 
Queen, Giglio’s mother; and Glumboso will be forced to refund 
two hundred and seventeen thousand millions, nine hundred 
and eighty-seven thousand, four hundred and thirty-nine pounds 
thirteen shillings and sixpence halfpenny, money left to Prince 
Giglio by his poor dear father.” So the Lady of Honor and 
the Prime Minister hated Giglio because they had done him a 
wrong ; and these unprincipled people invented a hundred cruel 
stories about poor Giglio, in order to influence the King, Queen 
and Princess against him : how he was so ignorant that he 
could not spell the commonest words, and actually wrote Valo- 
roso Valloroso, and spelt Angelica with two/’s ; how he drank 
a great deal too much wine at dinner, and was always idling in 
the stables with the grooms ; how he owed ever so much money 
at the pastry-cook’s and the haberdasher’s ; how he used to go 
to sleep at church ; how he was fond of playing cards with the 
pages. So did the Queen like playing cards ; so did the King 
go to sleep at church, and eat and drink too much ; and, if 
Giglio owed a trifle for tarts, who owed him. two hundred and 
seventeen thousand millions, nine hundred and eighty-seven 
thousand, four hundred and thirty-nine pounds thirteen shillings 
and sixpence halfpenny, I should like to know .? Detractors 
and tale-bearers (in my humble opinion) had much better look 
at home. All this back-biting and slandering had effect upon 
Princess Angelica, who began to look coldly on her cousin, 
then to laugh at him and scorn him for being so stupid, then to 
sneer at him for having vulgar associates ; and at Court balls, 
dinners, and so forth, to treat him so unkindly that poor Giglio 
became quite ill, took to his bed, and sent for the doctor. 

His Majesty King Valoroso, as we have seen, had his own 
reasons for disliking his nephew ; and as for those innocent 
readers who ask why ? — I beg (with the permission of their 
dear parents) to refer them to Shakspeare’s pages, where they 
will read why King John disliked Prince Arthur. With the 
Queen, his royal but weak-minded aunt, when Giglio was out 
of sight he was out of mind. While she had her whist and her 
evening-parties, she cared for little else. 

I dare say two villains^ who shall be nameless, wished Doc- 
tor Pildrafto, the Court Physician, had killed Giglio right out, 
but he only bled and physicked him so severely, that the Prince 


i86 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


was kept to his room for several months, and grew as thin as 
a post. 

Whilst he was lying sick in this way, there came to the 
Court of Paflagonia a famous painter, whose name was Tomaso 
Lorenzo, and who was Painter in Ordinary to the King of 
Crim Tartary, Pafiagonia’s neighbor. Tomaso Lorenzo painted 
all the Court, who were delighted with his works ; for even 
Countess Gruffanuff looked young and Glumboso good-humored 
in his pictures. “ He flatters very much,” some people said. 
“ Nay ! ” says Princess Angelica, “ I am above flattery, and I 
think he did not make my picture handsome enough. I can’t 
bear to hear a man of genius unjustly cried down, and I hope 
my dear papa will make Lorenzo a knight of Ins Order of the 
Cucumber.” 

The Princess Angelica, although the courtiers vowed her 
Royal Highness could draw so beautifully that the idea of her 
taking lessons was absurd, yet chose to have Lorenzo for a 
teacher, and it was wonderful, as long as she painted m his 
studio^ what beautiful pictures she made ! Some of the per- 
formances were engraved for the “ Book of Beauty : ” others 
were sold for enormous sums at Charity Bazaars. She wrote 
the signatures under the drawings, no doubt, but I think I 
know who did the pictures — this artful painter, who had come 
with other designs on Angelica than merely to teach her to 
draw. 

One day Lorenzo showed the Princess a portrait of a young 
man in armor, with fair hair and the loveliest blue eyes, and 
an expression at once melancholy and interesting. 

“ Dear Signor Lorenzo, who is this t ” asked the Princess. 
“ I never saw any one so handsome,” says Countess Gruffanuff 
(the old humbug). 

“ That,” said the Painter, “ that, madam, is the portrait of 
my august young master, his Royal Highness Bulbo, Crown 
Prince of Crim Tartary, Duke of Acroceraunia, Marquis of 
Poluphloisboio, and Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the 
Pumpkin. That is the Order of the Pumpkin glittering on his 
manly breast, and received by his Royal Highness from his 
august father, his Majesty King Padella L, for his gallantry 
at the battle of Rimbombamento, when he slew with his own 
princely hand the King of Ograria and two hundred and eleven 
giants of the two hundred and eighteen who formed the King’s 
body-guard. The remainder were destroyed by the brave Crim 
Tartar army after an obstinate combat, in which the Crim Tar« 
tars suffered severely,” 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, l8; 

“ What a Prince ! ” thought Angelica ; “ so brave — so calm- 
looking — so young — what a hero ! ” 

“ He is as accomplished as hS is brave,” continued the 
Court Painter. “ He knows all languages perfectly : sings 
deliciously : plays every instrument : composes operas which 
have been acted a thousand nights running at the Imperial 
Theatre of Crim Tartary, and danced in a ballet there before 
the King and Queen ; in which he looked so beautiful, that his 
cousin, the lovely daughter of the King of Circassia, died for 
love of him.” 

“ Why did he not marry the poor Princess ? ” asked An- 
gelica, with a sigh. 

“ Because they were first-cousins^ madam, and the clergy 
forbid these unions,” said the Painter. “ And, besides, the 
young Prince had given his royal heart elsewhere,^' 

“ And to whom ? ” asked her Royal Highness. 

I am not at liberty to mention the Princess’s name,” 
answered the Painter. 

“ But you may tell me the first letter of it,” gasped out the 
Princess. 

“ That your Royal Highness is at liberty to guess,” says 
Lorenzo. 

“ Does it begin with a Z ? ” asked Angelica. 

The Painter said it wasn’t a Z ; then she tried a Y ; then 
an X ; then a W, and went so backwards through almost the 
whole alphabet. 

When she came to D, and it wasn’t D, she grew very much 
excited ; when she came to C, and it wasn’t C, she was still 
more nervous ; when she came to B, and it wasn't “ Oh, 
dearest Gruffanuff,” she said, “ lend me your smelling-bottle ! ” 
and, hiding her head in the Countess’s shoulder, she faintly 
whispered, “ Ah, Signor, can it be A ? ” 

It was A ; and though I may not, by my Royal Master’s 
orders, tell your Royal Highness the Princess’s name, whom 
he fondly, madly, devotedly, rapturously loves, I may show you 
her portrait,” says tlie slyboots : and leading the Princess up 
to a gilt frame, he drew a curtain which was before it. 

O goodness ! the frame contained a looking-glass ! and 
Angelica saw her own face 1 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


1 88 


VII. 

HOW GIGLIO AND ANGELICA HAD A QUARREL. 

The Court Painter of his Majesty the King of Crim Tar- 
Cary returned to that monarch’s dominions, carrying away a 
number of sketches which he had made in the Paflagonian 
caj^ital (you know of course, my dears, that the name of that 
capital is Blombodinga) ; but the most charming of all his 
pieces was a portrait of the Princess Angelica, which all the 
Crim Tartar nobles came to see. With this work the King 
was so delighted, that he decorated the Painter with his Order 
of the Pumpkin (sixth class), and the artist became Sir Tomaso 
Lorenzo, K. P., thenceforth. 

King Valoroso also sent Sir Tomaso his Order of the 
Cucumber, besides a handsome order for money ; for he 
painted the King, Queen, and principal nobility while at Blom- 
bodinga, and became all the fashion, to the perfect rage of all 
the artists in Paflagonia, where the King used to point to the 
portrait of Prince Bulbo, which Sir Tomaso had left behind 
him, and say, “Which among you can paint a picture like 
that ? ” 

It hung in the royal parlor over the royal sideboard, and 
Princess Angelica could always look at it as she sat making 
the tea. Each day it seemed to grow handsomer and hand- 
somer, and the Princess grew so fond of looking at it, that she 
would often spill the tea over the cloth, at which her father 
and mother would wink and wag their heads ; and say to each 
other, “ Aha ! we see how things are going.” 

In the meanwhile poor Giglio lay up stairs very sick in his 
chamber, though he took all the Doctor’s horrible medicines 
like a good young lad : as I hope you do, my dears, when you 
are ill and mamma sends for the medical man. And the only 
person who visited Giglio (besides his friend the Captain of the 
Guard, who was almost always busy or on parade) was little 
Betsinda the housemaid, who used to do his bedroom and sit- 
ting-room out, bring him his gruel, and warm his bed. 

When the little housemaid came to him in the morning and 
evening. Prince Giglio used to say, “ Betsinda, Betsinda, how 
is the Princess Angelica ? ” 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


189 

And Betsinda used to answer, “ The Princess is very well, 
thank you, my lord.” And Giglio would heave a sigh, and 
think, “ If Angelica were sick I am sure I should not be very 
well.’-’ 

Then Giglio would say, “ Betsinda, has the Princess Angel- 
ica asked for me to-day ?” And Betsinda would answer, “No, 
my lord, not to-day ; ” or, “ She was very busy practising the 
piano when I saw her;” or, “She was writing invitations for 
an evening-party, and did not speak to me;” or make some 
excuse or other, not strictly consonant with truth ; for Betsinda 
was such a good-natured creature, that she strove to do every- 
thing to prevent annoyance to Prince Giglio, and even brought 
him up roast chicken and jellies from the kitchen (when the 
Doctor allowed them, and Giglio was getting better), saying 
“ that the Princess had made the jelly, or the bread-sauce, with 
her own hands, on purpose for Giglio.” 

When Giglio heard this he took heart, and began to mend 
immediately ; and gobbled up all the jelly, and picked the last 
bone of the chicken — drumsticks, merry-thought, sides’-bones, 
back, pope’s-nose, and all — thanking his dear Angelica : and 
he felt so much better the next day, that he dressed and went 
down stairs — where whom should he meet but Angelica going 
into the drawing-room } All the covers were off the chairs, the 
chandeliers taken out of the bags, the damask curtains uncov- 
ered, the work and things carried away, and the handsomest 
albums on the tables. Angelica had her hair in papers. In a 
word, it \vas evident there was going to be a party. 

“Heavens, Giglio!” cries Angelica; here in such a 

dress ! What a figure you are ! ” 

“Yes, dear Angelica, I am come down stairs, and feel so 
well to-day, thanks to the fo7vl and the 

“ What do I know about fowls and jellies, that you allude 
to them in that rude way } ” says Angelica. 

“ Why, didn’t — didn’t you send them, Angelica dear ? ” says 
Giglio. 

“ I send them indeed ! Angelica dear I No, Giglio, dear,’' 
says she, mocking him. “/was engaged in getting the rooms 
ready for his Royal Highness the Prince of Grim Tartary, who 
is coming to pay my papa’s court a visit.” 

“ The — Prince — of — Grim — Tartary I ” Giglio said, aghast. 

“ Yes, the Prince of Grim Tartary,” says Angelica, mocking 
him. “ I dare say you never heard of such a country. What 
did you ever hear of ? You don’t know whether Grim Tartary 
is on the Red Sea or on the Black Sea, I dare say.” 


190 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


Yes, I do : it’s on the Red Sea,” says Giglio ; at which the 
Princess burst out laughing at him, and said, “ Oh, you ninny ! 
You -are so ignorant, you are really not fit for society ! You 
know nothing but about horses and dogs, and are only fit to 
dine in a mess-room with my Royal Father’s heaviest dragoons. 
Don’t look so surprised at me, sir: go and put your best 
clothes on to receive the Prince, and let me get the drawing- 
room ready.” 

Giglio said, “ Oh, Angelica, Angelica, I didn’t think this of 
you. This wasn’t your language to me when you gave me 
this ring, and I gave you mine in the garden, and you gave me 
that k — ” 

But what k — was we never shall know, for Angelica, in a 
rage, cried, “ Get out, you saucy, rude creature ! How dare 
you to remind me of your rudeness ? As for your little trumpery 
twopenny ring, there, sir — there ! ” And she flung it out of 
the window. 

“ It was my mother’s marriage-ring,” cried Giglio. 

“ I don’t care whose marriage-ring it was,” cries Angelica. 

Marry the person who picks it up if she’s a woman ; you sha’n’t 
marry me. And give me back my ring. I’ve no patience with 
I^eople who boast about the things they give away ! I know 
who’ll give me much finer things than you ever gave me. A 
beggarly ring indeed, not worth five shillings ! ” 

Now Angelica little knew that the ring which Giglio had 
given her was a fairy ring ; if a man wore it, it made all the 
women in love with him ; if a woman, all the gentlemen. The 
Queen, Giglio’s mother, quite an ordinary-looking person, was 
admired immensely whilst she wore this ring, and her husband 
was frantic when she was ill. But when she called her little 
Giglio to her, and put the ring on his finger. King Savio did 
not seem to care for his wife so much any more, but transferred 
all his love to little Giglio. So did everybody love him as long 
as he had the ring ; but when, as quite a child, he gave it to 
Angelica, people began to love and admire her; and Giglio, as 
the saying is, played only second fiddle. 

“Yes,” says Angelica, going on in her foolish ungrateful 
way, “/know who’ll give me much finer things than your beg- 
garly little pearl nonsense.” 

“ Very good, miss ! You may take back your ring, too ! ” 
says Giglio, his eyes flashing fire at her ; and then, as if his 
eyes had been suddenly opened, he cried out, “ Ha ! what 
does this mean ? Is this the woman I have been in love with 
all my life } Have I been such a ninny as to throw away my 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


191 

regard upon you ? Why — actually — yes — you are a- little 
crooked ! ” 

“ Oh, you wretch ! ” cries Angelica. 

“And, upon my conscience, you — you squint a little.” 

“ Eh ! ” cries Angelica. 

“ And your hair is red — and you are marked with the small- 
pox — and what ? you have three false teeth — and one leg 
shorter than the other ! ” 

“ You brute, you brute, you ! ” Angelica screamed out : and 
as she seized the ring with one hand, she dealt Giglio, one, two, 
three smacks on the face, and would have pulled the hair off 
his head had he not started laughing, and crying, 

“ Oh, dear me, Angelica! don’t pull out my hair, it hurts I 
You might remove a great deal of your own, as I perceive, 
without scissors or pulling at all. Oh, ho, ho I ha, ha, ha ! he, 
he, he 1 ” 

And he nearly choked himself with laughing, and she with 
rage ; when, w'ith a low bow, and dressed in his Court habit. 
Count Gambabella^ the first lord-in-waiting, entered and said, 
“ Royal Highnesses 1 Their Majesties expect you in the Pink 
Throne-room, where they await the arrival of the Prince of 
Crim Tartary 


VIII. 

HOW GRUFFANUFF PICKED THE FAIRY RING UP, AND PRINCE 
BULBO CAME TO COURT. 

Prince Bulbo’s arrival had set all the Court in a flutter : 
everybody was ordered to put his or her best clothes on : the 
footmen had their gala liveries ; the Lord Chancellor his new 
wig ; the Guards their last new tunics ; and Countess Grufif- 
anuff, you may be sure, was glad of an opportunity of deco- 
rating her old person with her finest things. She was walking 
through the court of the Palace on her way to wait upon their 
Majesties, when she spied something glittering on the pave- 
ment, and bade the boy in buttons, who was holding up her 
train, to go and pick up the article shining yonder. He was 
an ugly little wretch, in some of the late groom-porter’s old 
clothes cut down, and much too tight for him ; and yet, when 
he had taken up the ring (as it turned out to be), and was 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


192 

carrying it to his mistress, she thought he looked like a little 
Cupid. He gave the ring to her ; it was a trumpery little thing 
enough, but too small for any of her old knuckles, so she put it 
into her pocket. 

“ Oh, mum ! ” says the boy, looking at her, “ how — how 
beyoutiful you do look, mum, to-day, mum ! 

‘'•And you, too, Jacky,” she was going to say ; but, looking 
down at him — no, he was no longer good-looking at all — but 
only the carroty-haired little Jacky of the morning. However, 
praise is welcome from the ugliest of men or boys, and Gruff^ 
anuff, bidding the boy hold up her train, walked on in high 
good-humor. The Guards saluted her with peculiar respect. 
Captain Hedzoff, in the ante-room, said, “ My dear madam, 
you look like an angel to-day.” And so, bowing and smirking, 
Gruffanulf went in and took her place behind her Royal Master 
and Mistress, who were in the throne-room, awaiting the Prince 
of Crim Tartary. Princess Angelica sat at their feet, and be- 
hind the King’s chair stood Prince Giglio, looking very savage. 

The Prince of Crim Tartary made his appearance, attended 
by Baron Sleibootz, his chamberlain, and followed by a black 
page, carrying the most beautiful crown you ever saw ! He 
was dressed in his travelling costume, and his hair, as you see, 
was a little in disorder. “ I have ridden three hundred miles 
since breakfast,” said he, “ so eager was I to behold the Prin — • 
the Court and august family of Pafiagonia, and I could not wait 
one minute before appearing in-your Majesties’ presences.” 

Giglio, from behind the throne, burst out into a roar of 
contemptuous laughter ; but all the Royal party, in fact, were 
so flurried, that they did not hear this outbreak. “ Your R. H. 
is welcome in any dress,” says the King. “ Glumboso, a chair 
for his Royal Highness.” 

“Any dress his Royal Highness wears is a Court-dress,” 
says Princess Angelica, smiling graciously. 

“ Ah ! but you should see my other clothes,” said tjie 
Prince. “ I should have had them on, but that stupid carrier 
has not brought them. Who’s that laughing ? ” 

It was Giglio laughing. “ I was laughing,” he said, because 
you said just now that you were in such a hurry to see the 
Princess, that you could not wait to change your dress ? and 
now you say you come in those clothes because you have no 
others.” 

“ And who are you ? ” says Prince Bulbo, very fiercely. 

“ My father was King of this country, and I am his only 
son, Prince ! ” replies Giglio, with equal haughtiness. 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


193 

Ha ! ” said the King and Glumboso, looking very flurried ; 
but the former, collecting himself, said, “ Dear Prince Bulbo, 
I forgot to introduce to your Royal Highness my dear nephew, 
his Royal Highness Prince Giglio ! Know each other! Em- 
brace each other I Giglio, give his Royal Highness your hand I” 
And Giglio, giving his hand, squeezed poor Bulbo’s until the 
tears ran out of his eyes. Glumboso now brought a chair for 
the Royal visitor, and placed it on the platform on which tlie 
King, Queen, and Prince were seated; but the chair was on 
the edge of the platform, and as Bulbo sat down, it toppled 
over, and he with it, rolling over and over, and bellowing like 
a bull. Giglio roared still louder at this disaster, but it was 
with laughter ; so did all the Court when Prince Bulbo got up ; 
for though when he entered the room he appeared not very 
ridiculous, as he stood up from his fall, for a moment, he looked 
so exceedingly plain and foolish that nobody could help laugh- 
ing at him. When he had entered the room, he was observed 
to carry a rose in his hand, which fell out of it as he tumbled. 

My rose I my rose ! ” cried Bulbo ; and his chamberlain 
dashed forward and picked it up, and gave it to the Prince, who 
put it in his waistcoat. Then people wondered why they had 
laughed ; there was nothing particularly ridiculous in him. He 
was rather short, rather stout, rather red-haired, but in fine, for 
a prince not so bad. 

So they sat and talked, the royal personages together, the 
Crim Tartar officers with those of Paflagonia— Giglio very com- 
fortable with Gruffanuff behind the throne. He looked at her 
with such tender eyes, that her heart was all in a flutter. “ Oh, 
dear Prince,” she said, “ how could you speak so haughtily in 
presence of their Majesties ? I protest I thought I should 
have fainted.” 

I should have caught you in my arms,” said Giglio, looking 
raptures. 

“ Why were you so cruel to the Prince Bulbo, dear Prince } ” 
says Gruff. 

“ Because I hate him,” says Gil. 

“'You are jealous of him, and still love poor Angelica,” 
cries Gruffanuff, putting her handkerchief to her eyes, 

“ I did, but I love her no more ! ” Giglio cried. “ I despise 
her ! Were she heiress to twenty thousand thrones, I would 
despise her and scorn her. But why speak of thrones ? I 
have lost mine. I am too weak to recover it — I am alone, and 
have no friend.” 

“ Oh, say not so, dear Prince ! ” savs Gruffanuff, 


194 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


“ Besides/’ says he, “ I am so happy here behind the throne., 
that I would not change my place, no, not for the throne of the 
world ! ” 

“ What are you two people chattering about there ? ” says 
the Queen, who was rather goodmatured, though not over- 
burdened with wisdom. “ It is time to dress for dinner. 
Giglio, show Prince Bulbo to his room. Prince, if your 
clothes have not come, we shall be very happy to see you as 
you are.” But when Prince Bulbo got to his bedroom, his 
luggage was there and unpacked ; and the hairdresser coming 
in, cut and curled him entirely to his own satisfaction ; and 
when the dinner-bell rang, the royal company had not to 
wait above five-and-twenty minutes until Bulbo appeared, dur- 
ing which time the King, who could not bear to wait, grew as 
sulky as possible. As for Giglio, he never left Madam Gruffa- 
nuff all this time, but stood with her in the embrasure of a 
window, paying her compliments. At length the groom of the 
chambers announced his Royal Highness the Prince of Grim 
Tartary ! and the noble company went into the royal dining- 
room. It was quite a small party ; only the King and Queen, 
the Princess, whom Bulbo took out, the two Princes, Countess 
Gruffanuff, Glumboso the Prime Minister, and Prince Bulbo’s 
chamberlain. You may be sure they had a very good dinner 
— let every boy or girl think of what he or she likes best, and 
fancy it on the table.* 

The Princess talked incessantly all dinner-time to the Prince 
of Crimea, who ate an immense deal too much, and never took 
his eyes off his plate, except when Giglio, who was carving a 
goose, sent a quantity of stuffing and onion-sauce into one of 
them. Giglio only burst out a-laughing as the Crimean Prince 
wiped his shirt-front and face with his scented pocket-handker- 
chief. He did not make Prince Bulbo any apology. When the 
Prince looked at him, Giglio would not look that way. When 
Prince Bulbo said, “ Prince Giglio, may I have the honor of 
taking a glass of wine with you ? ” Giglio wouldn't answer. All 
his talk and his eyes were for Countess Gruffanuff, who, you 
may be sure, was pleased with Giglio’s attentions — the vain old 
creature ! When he was not complimenting her, he was mak- 
ing fun of Prince Bulbo, so loud that Gruffanuff was always 
tapping him with her fan and saying, “ Oh, you satirical Prince ! 
Oh, fie, the Prince will hear!” “Well, I don’t mind,” says 


• Here a very pretty game may be played by all the childrea eaying what they like best 
fer dinner. 


THE ROSE AND THE RINy_, 


m 

Giglio, louder still. The King and Queen luckily did not 
hear ; for her Majesty was a little deaf, and the King thought 
so much about his own dinner, and, besides, made such a 
dreadful noise, hobgobbling in eating it, that he heard nothing 
else. After dinner, his Majesty and the Queen went to sleep 
in their arm-chairs. 

This was the time when Giglio began his tricks with Prince 
Bulbo, plying that young gentleman with port, sherry, madeira, 
champagne, marsala, cherry-brandy and pale ale, of all of 
which Master Bulbo drank without stint. But in plying his 
guest, Giglio was obliged to drink himself, and I am sorry to 
say, took more than was good for him, so that the young men 
were very noisy, rude, and foolish when they joined the ladies 
after dinner ; and dearly did they pay for that imprudence, as 
now, my darlings, you shall hear ! 

Bulbo went and sat by the piano, where Angelica was 
playing and singing, and he sang out of tune, and he upset the 
coffee when the footmen brought it, and he laughed out of 
place, and talked absurdly, and fell asleep and snored horridly. 
Booh, the nasty pig ! But as he lay there stretched on the 
pink satin sofa, Angelica still persisted in thinking him the 
most beautiful of human beings. No doubt the magic rose 
which Bulbo wore caused this infatuation on Angelica’s part; 
but is she the first young woman who has thought a silly fellow 
charming ? 

Giglio must go and sit by Gruffanuff, whose old face he, too, 
every moment began to find more lovely. He paid the most 
outrageous compliments to her : — There never was such a dar- 
ling. Older than he was ? — Fiddle-de-dee ! He would marry 
her — he would, have nothing but her ! 

To marry the heir to the throne ! Here was a chance ! 
The artful hussey actually got a sheet of paper and wrote upon 
it, “ This is to give notice that I, Giglio, only son of Savio, 
King of Paflagonia, hereby promise to marry the charming and 
virtuous Barbara Griselda Countess Gruffanuff, and widow of 
the late Jenkins Gruffanuff, Esq.” 

“What is it you are writing, you charming Gruffy ” says 
Giglio, who was lolling on the sofa by the writing-table. 

“ Only an order for you to sign, dear Prince, for giving 
coals and blankets to the poor, this cold weather. Look ! the 
King and Queen are both asleep, and your Royal Highness’s 
order will do.” 

So Giglio, who was very good-natured, as Gruffy well knew, 
signed the order immediately ; and, when she had it in her 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


196 

pocket, you may fancy what airs she gave herself. She was 
ready to flounce out of the room before the Queen herself, as 
now she was the wife of the rightful King of Paflagonia ! 
She would not speak to Gluinboso, whom she thought a brute, 
for depriving her dear husband of the crown ! And when 
candles came, and she had helped to undress the Queen and 
Princess, she went into her own room, and actually prac- 
tised, on a sheet of paper, “ Griselda Paflagonia,” “ Barbara 
Regina,” “ Griselda Barbara, Paf. Reg.,” and I don’t know 
what signatures besides, against the day when she should be 
Queen forsooth ! 


IX. 


XOW BCTSINDA GOT THE WARMING-PAN. 

Little Betsinda came in to put Gruffanuff’s hair in papers ; 
and the Countess was so pleased, that, for a wonder, she com- 
plimented Betsinda. “ Betsinda ! ” she said, “ you dressed my 
hair veiy^ nicely to-day ; I promised you a little present. Here 
are five sh — no, here is a pretty little ring that I picked — that 
I have had some time.” And she gave Betsinda the ring she 
had picked up in the court. It fitted Betsinda exactly. 

“ It’s like the ring the Princess used to wear,” says the 
maid. , 

“ No such thing,” says Gruffanuff ; “ I have had it this ever 
so long. There— tuck me up quite comfortable : and now, as 
it’s a very cold night ” (the snow was beating in at the window), 
“ you may go and warm dear Prince Giglio’s bed, like a good 
girl, and then you may unrip my green silk, and then you can 
just do me up a little cap for the morning, and then you can 
mend that hole in my silk stocking, and then you can go to 
bed, Betsinda. Mind, T shall want my cup of tea at five o’clock 
in the morning.” 

“ I suppose I had best warm both the young gentle'men’s 
beds, ma’am ? ” says Betsinda. 

Gruffanuff, for reply, said, “ Hau-au-ho ! — Grau-haw-hoo ! 
— Hong-hrho ! ” In fact, she was snoring sound asleep. 

Her room, you know, is next to the King and Queen, and 
the Princess is next to them. So pretty Betsinda went away 
for the coals to the kitchen, and filled the royal warming-pan. 


THE ROSE ANV THE KING. 


t97 


^what a pretty girl Betsinda is ! ” 


Now she was a very kind, merry, civil, pretty girl ; but 
there must have beeil something very captivating about her 
this evening, for all the women in the servants’ hall began to 
scold and abuse her. The housekeeper said she was a pert, 
stuck-up thing : the upper-housemaid asked, how dare she wear 
such ringlets and ribbons, it was quite improper ! The cook 
(for there was a woman-cook as well as a man-cook) said to the 
kitchen-maid that she never could see anything in that creetur : 
but as for the men, every one of them, Coachman, John, Buttons 
the page, and Monsieur the Prince of Crim Tartary’s valet, 
started up and said — ■ 

“ My eyes ! 

“ O mussey ! 

“ O jemmany ! 

“ O ciel ! 

“ Hands olf ; none of your impertinence, you vulgar, low 
people ! ” says Betsinda, walking off with her pan of coals. 
She heard the young gentleman playing at billiards as she went 
up stairs : first to Prince Giglio’s bed, which she warmed, and 
then to Prince Bulbo’s room. 

He came in just as she had done ; and as soon as he saw 
her, “O! O! O! O! O! O! what a beyou — oo — ootiful crea- 
ture you are! You angel — you Peri — you rosebud, let me be 
thy bulbul — thy Bulbo, too ! Fly to the desert, fly with me ! 
I never saw a young gazelle to glad me with its dark-blue eye 
that had eyes like thine. Thou nymph of beauty, take, take 
this young heart. A truer never did itself sustain within a 
soldier’s waistcoat. Be mine ! Be mine I Be Princess of 
Crim Tartary ! My Royal Father will approve our union : and 
as for that little carroty-haired Angelica, I do not care a fig for 
her any more.” 

•‘Go away, your Royal Highness, and go to bed, please,’* 
said Betsinda, with the warming-pan. 

But Bulbo said, “ No, never, till thou swearest to be mine, 
thou lovely, blushing chambermaid divine 1 Here, at thy feet, 
the Royal Bulbo lies, the trembling captive of Betsinda’s eyes.” 

And he went on, making himself so absurd and ridiculous^ 
that Betsinda, who was full of fun, gave him a touch with the 
warming-pan, which, I promise you, made him cry “ O-o-o-o ! ” 
in a very different manner. 

Prince Biilbo made such a noise that Prince Giglio, who 
heard him from the next room, came in to see what was the 
matter. As soon as he saw what was taking place, Giglio, in a 
fury, rushed on Bulbo, kicked him in the rudest manner up to 


THE ROSE AHD THE RINu. 


198 

the ceiling, and went on kicking him till his hair was quite out 
of curl. 

Poor Betsinda did not know whether to laugh or to cry \ 
the kicking certainly must hurt the Prince, but then he looked 
so droll ! - When Giglio had done knocking him up and down 
to the ground, and whilst he went into a corner rubbing him- 
self, what do you think Giglio does ? He goes down on his 
own knees to Betsinda, takes her hand, begs her to accept his 
heart, and offers to marry her that moment. Fancy Betsinda's 
condition, who had been in love with the Prince ever since she 
first saw him in the palace garden, when she was quite a little 
child. 

Oh, divine Betsinda ! ” says the Prince, “ how have I 
lived fifteen years in thy company without seeing thy perfec- 
tions ? What woman in all Europe, Asia, Africa, and America 
— nay, in Australia, only it is not yet discovered — can presume 
to be thy equal ? Angelica ? Pish ! Gruffanuff ? Phoo ! 
The Queen ? Ha, ha ! Thou art my queen. Thou art the 
real Angelica, because thou art really angelic.” 

“ Oh, Prince ! I am but a poor chambermaid,” says Bet- 
sinda, looking, however, very much pleased. 

“ Didst thou not tend me in my sickness, when all forsook 
me ? ” continues Giglio. “ Did not thy gentle hand smooth 
my pillow, and bring me jelly and roast chicken ? ” 

“ Yes, dear Prince, I did,” says Betsinda, “ and I sewed 
your Royal Highness’s shirt-buttons on, too, if you please, your 
Royal Highness,” cries this artless maiden. 

When poor Prince Bulbo, who was now madly in love with 
Betsinda, heard this declaration, when he saw the unmistakable 
glances which she flung upon Giglio, Bulbo began to cry bitterly, 
and tore quantities of hair out of his head, till it all covered the 
room like so much tow. 

Betsinda had left the warming-pan on the floor while the 
Princes were going on with their conversation, and as they 
began now to quarrel and be very fierce with one another, she 
thought proper to run away. 

“ You great big blubbering booby, tearing your hair in the 
corner there ! of course you will give me satisfaction for in- 
sulting Betsinda. You dare to kneel down at Princess Giglio’s 
knees and kiss her hand ! ” 

“ She’s not Princess Giglio ! ” roars out Bulbo. ‘‘ She shall 
be Princess Bulbo, no other shall be Princess Bulbo.” 

“ You are engaged to my cousin ! ” bellows out Giglio. 

“ I hate your cousin,” says Bulbo. 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


199 

“You shall give me satisfaction for insulting her I ” cries 
Giglio in a fury. 

“ I’ll have your life.” 

“ I’ll run YOU through.” 

I’ll cut your throat.” 

“ I’ll blow your brains out.” 

‘ I’ll knock your head off.” 

“ I’ll send a friend to you in the morning.” 

“ I’ll send a bullet into you in the afternoon.” 

“We’ll meet again,” says Giglio, shaking his fist in'Bulbo’s 
face ; and seizing up the warming-pan, he kissed it, because, 
forsooth, Betsinda had carried it, and rushed down stairs. 
What should he see on the landing but his Majesty talking to 
Betsinda, whom he called by all sorts of fond names. His 
Majesty had heard a row in the building, so he stated, and 
smelling something burning, had come out to see what the 
matter was. 

“ It’s the young gentlemen smoking, perhaps, sir,” says 
Betsinda. 

“ Charming chambermaid,’^ says the King (like all the rest 
of them), “ never mind the young men ! Turn thy eyes on a 
middle-aged autocrat, who has been considered not ill-looking 
in his time.” 

“ Oh, sir ! what will her Majesty say ? ” cries Betsinda. 

“ Her Majesty ! ” laughs the monarch. “ Her Majesty be 
hanged ! Am I not Autocrat of Paflagonia ? Have I not 
blocks, ropes, axes, hangmen — ha ? Runs not a river by my 
palace wall ? Have I not sacks to sew up wives withal ? Say 
but the word, that thou will be mine own, — your mistress 
straightway in a sack is sewn, and thou the sharer of my heart 
and throne.” 

When Giglio heard these atrocious sentiments, he forgot the 
respect usually paid to Royalty, lifted up the warming-pan, and 
knocked down the King as flat as a pancake ; after which, 
Master Giglio took to his heels and ran away, and Betsinda 
went off screaming, and the Queen, Gruffanuff, and the Princess, 
all came out of their rooms. Fancy their feelings on beholding 
their husband, father, sovereign, in this posture ! 



POO 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


X. 

HOW KING VALOROSO WAS IN A DREADFUL PASSION. 

As soon as the coals began to burn him, the King came to 
himself and stood up. “ Ho ! my Captain of the Guards ! ” 
his Majesty exclaimed, stamping his royal feet with rage. O 
piteous spectacle ! the King’s nose was bent quite crooked by 
the blow of Prince Giglio ! His Majesty ground his teeth with 
rage. “ Hedzolf,” he said, taking a death-warrant out of his 
dressing-gown pocket, — “ Hedzoff, good Hedzolf, seize upon 
the Prince. Thou’lt find him in his chamber two pair up. But 
now he dared, with sacrilegious hand, to strike the sacred 
nightcap of a king — Hedzoff, and floor me with a warming-pan ! 
Away, no more demur, the villain dies ! See it be done, or 
else— h’m ! — ha ! — h’m ! mind thine own eyes ! And followed 
by the ladies, and lifting up the tails of his dressing-gown, the 
King entered his own apartment. 

Captain Hedzoff was very much affected, having a sincere 
love for Giglio. “ Poor, poor Giglio ! ” he said, the tears roll- 
ing over his manly face, and dripping down his mustaches. 
“ My noble young Prince, is it my hand must lead thee to 
death ? ” 

“ Lead him to fiddlestick, Hedzoff,” said a female voice. 
It was Gruffanuff, who had come out in her dressing-gown when 
she heard the noise. “The King said you were to hang the 
Prince. Well, hang the Prince.” 

“ I don’t understand you,” says Hedzoff, who was not a 
very clever man. 

“ You Gaby ! he didn’t say which Prince,” says Gruffanuff. 

“ No ; he didn’t say which, certainly,” said Hedzoff. 

“Well, then, take Bulbo, and hang him 

When Captain Hedzoff heard this, he began to dance about 
for joy. “ Obedience is a soldier’s honor,” says he. “ Prince 
Bulbo’s head will do capitally j ” and he went to arrest the 
Prince the very first thing next morning. 

He knocked at the door. “ Who’s there ? ” says Bulbo. 
“Captain Hedzoff? Step in, pray, my good Captain: I’m 
delighted to see you j I have been expecting you.” 

“ Have you ? ” says Hedzoff. 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


201 


“ Sleibootz, my Chamberlain, will act for me,” says the 
Prince. 

“ I beg your Royal Highness’s pardon, but you will have to 
act f' jf yourself, and it’s a pity to wake Baron Sleibootz.” 

'I'lie Prince Bulbo still seemed to take the matter very 
coolly. “Of course, Captain,” says he, “you are come about 
that affair with Prince Giglio 1 ” 

“ Precisely,” says Hedzoff : “ that affair of Prince Giglio.” 

“ Is it to be pistols, or swords. Captain ? ” asks Bulbo. 
“I’m a pretty good hand with both, and I’ll do for Prince 
Giglio as sure as my name is my Royal Highness Prince 
Bulbo.” 

“ There’s some mistake, my lord,” says the Captain. “The 
business is done with axes among us.” 

“Axes? That’s sharp work,” says Bulbo. “Call my 
Ch'amberlain, he’ll be my second, and in ten minutes I flatter 
myself you’ll see Master Giglio’s head off his impertinent 
shoulders. I’m hungry for his blood. Hoo-oo — aw ! and he 
looked as savage as an ogre. 

“ I beg your pardon, sir, but by this warrant I am to take 
you prisoner, and hand you over to — to the executioner.” 

. “ Pooh, pooh, my good man ! — Stop, I say, — ho ! — hulloa ! ” 
was all that this luckless Prince was enabled to say : for Hed- 
zoff’s guards seizing him, tied a handkerchief over his mouth 
and face, and carried him to the place of execution. 

The King, who happened to be talking to Glumboso, saw 
him pass, and took a pinch of snuff, and said, “ So much for 
Giglio. Now let’s go to breakfast.” 

The Captain of the Guard handed over his prisoner to the 
Sheriff, with the fatal order. 

“At sight cut off the bearer’s head. 

“Valoroso XXIV.” 

“ It’s a mistake,” says Bulbo, who did not seem to under- 
stand the business in the least. 

“ Poo — poo — pooh,” says the Sheriff. “ Fetch Jack Ketch 
instantly. Jack Ketch ! ” 

And poor Bulbo was led to the scaffold, where an execu- 
tioner with a block and a tremendous axe was always ready in 
case he should be wanted. 

But we must now revert to Giglio and Betsinda. 


202 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


XL 

WHAT GRUFFANUFF DID TO GIGLIO AND BETSINDa. 

Gruffanuff, who had seen what had happened with the 
King, and knew that Giglio must come to grief, got up very 
early the next morning, and went to devise some plans for res- 
cuing her darling husband, as the silly old thing insisted on 
calling hirn. She found him walking up and down the garden, 
thinking of a rhyme for Betsinda {tinder and winda were all he 
could find), and indeed having forgotten all about the past 
evening, except that Betsinda was the most lovely of beings. 

“ Well, dear Giglio ? ’’ says Gruff. 

“ Well, dear Guffy ? ” says Giglio, only he was quite satirical. 

“ I have been thinking, darling, w'hat you must do in this 
scrape. You must fly the country for a while.’’ 

“What scrape? — fly the country ? Never without her I love, 
Countess,” says Giglio. 

“ No, she will accompany you, dear Prince,” she says in 
her most coaxing accents. “ First, we must get the jewels be- 
longing to our royal parents, and those of her and his present 
Majesty. Here is the key, duck ; they are all yours, you know, 
by right, for you are the rightful King of Paflagonia, and your 
wife will be the rightful Queen.” 

“ Will she ? ” says Giglio. 

“ Yes ; and having got the jewels, go to Glumboso’s apart 
ment, where, under his bed, you will find sacks containing 
money to the amount of ;£‘2 17,000,000,987,439 13^. all 

belonging to you, for he took it out of your royal father’s rooni 
on the day of his death. With this we will fly.” 

“ We will fly ? ” says Giglio. 

“Yes, you and your bride — your affianced love — your 
Gruffy ! ” says the Countess, with a languishing leer. 

“ You my bride ! ” says Giglio. “ You, you hideous old 
woman ! ” 

“ Oh, you — you wretch ! didn’t you give me this paper 
promising marriage ? ” cries Gruff. 

“ Get away, you old goose ! I love Betsinda, and Betsinda 
only ! ” And in a fit of terror he ran from her as quickly as he 
could. 

“ He ! he ! he ! ” shrieks out Gruff ; “ a promise is a promise, 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


203 


if there are laws in Paflagonia! And as for that monster, that 
wretch, that fiend, that ugly little vixen — as for that upstart, 
that ingrate, that beast Betsinda, Master Giglio will have no 
little difficulty in discovering her whereabouts. He may look 
very long before finding her^ I warrant. He little knows that 
Miss Betsinda is ” 

Is — what ? Now, you shall hear. Poor Betsinda got up at 
five in winter’s morning to bring her cruel mistress her tea ; 
and instead of finding her in a good-humor, found Gruffy as 
cross as two sticks. The Countess boxed Betsinda’s ears half 
a dozen times whilst she was dressing ; but as poor little Bet- 
sinda was used to this kind of treatment, she did not feel any 
special alarm. “ And now,” says she, “ when her Majesty 
rings her bell twice, I’ll trouble you, miss, to attend.” 

So when the Queen’s bell rang twice, Betsinda came to her 
Majesty and made a pretty little curtsey. The Queen, the 
Princess, and Gruffanuff were all three in the room. As soon 
as they saw her they began. 

“ You wretch ! ” says the Queen. 

“ You little vulgar thing ! ” said the Princess. 

“You beast ! ” says Gruffanuff. 

“ Get out of my sight ! ” says the Queen. 

“ Go away with you, do ! ” says the Princess. 

“ Quit the premises ! ” says Gruffanuff. 

Alas ! and woe is me ! very lamentable events had occurred 
to Betsinda that morning, and all in consequence of that fatal 
warming-pan business of the previous night. The King had 
offered to marry her ; of course her Majesty the Queen was 
jealous : Bulbo had fallen in love with her ; of course Angelica 
was furious : Giglio was in love with her, and oh, what a fury 
Gruffy was in ! 



“ Give her the rags she wore when she came into the house, 
and turn her out of it ! ” cries the Queen. 

“ Mind she does not go with my shoes on, which I lent her 
so kindly,” says the Princess ; and indeed the Princess’s shoes 
were a great deal too big for Betsinda, 


204 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


“ Come with me, you filthy hussey ! ” and taking up the 
Queen’s poker, the cruel Grufianuff drove Betsinda into her 
room. 

The Countess went to the glass box in which she had kept 
Betsinda’s old cloak and shoe this ever so long, and said, 
“Take those rags, you little beggar creature, and strip off 
everything belonging to honest people, and go about your busi- 
ness.” And she actually tore off the poor little delicate thing’s 
back almost all her things, and told her to be off out of the 
house. 

Poor Betsinda huddled the cloak round her back, on which 
were embroidered the letters prin * * * rosal * * and then 
came a great rent. 

As for the shoe, what was she to do with one poor little 
tootsey sandal ? The string was still to it, so-she hung it round 
her neck. 

“ Won’t you give me a pair of shoes to go out in the snow, 
mum, if you please, mum ? ” cried the poor child. ^ 

“ No, you wicked beast ! ” says Gruffanuff, driving her along 
with the poker — driving her down the cold stairs — driving her 
through the cold hall — flinging her out into the cold street, so 
that the knocker itself shed tears to see her ! 

But a kind Fairy made the soft snow warm for. her little 
feet, and she wrapped herself up in the ermine of her mantle, 
and was gone ! 

“ And now let us think about breakfast,” says the greedy 
Queen. 

“ What dress shall I put on, mamma ? the pink or the pea- 
green ? ” says Angelica. “ Which do you think the dear Prince 
will like best ? ” 

“ Mrs. V. ! ” sings out the King from hi^ dressing-room, 
“ let us have sausages for breakfast ! Remember we have 
Prince Bulbo staying with us ? ” 

And they all went to get ready. 

Nine o’clock came, and they were all in the breakfast-room, 
and no Prince Bulbo as yet. The urn was hissing and hum- 
ming : the muffins were smoking — such a heap of muffins ! the 
eggs were done : there was a pot of raspberry jam, and coffee, 
and a beautiful chicken and tongue on the side-table. Marmi- 
tonio the cook brought in the sausages. Oh, how nice they 
smelt ! 

“ Where is Bulbo ? ” said the King, “John, where is his 
Royal Highness ? ” > 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


205 

John said he had a took up his Roilighnessesses shaving- 
water, and his clothes and things, and he wasn’t in his room, 
which he sposed his Royliness was just stepped hout. 

“ Stepped out before breakfast in the snow ! Impossible ! ” 
says the King, sticking his fork into a sausage. “ My dear, 
take one. Angelica, won’t you have a saveloy ? ” The Prin- 
cess took one, being very fond of them ; and at this moment 
Glumboso entered with Captain Hedzoff, both looking very 
much disturbed. “ I am afraid your Majesty — ” cries Glum- 
boso. “ No business before breakfast. Glum ! ” says the King. 
“ Breakfast first, business next. Mrs. V., some more sugar ! ” 

“ Sire,, I am afraid if we wait till after breakfast it will be 
too late,” says Glumboso. “ He — he — he’ll be hanged at half- 
past nine.” 

“ Don’t talk about hanging and spoil my. breakfast, you 
unkind vulgar man you,” cries the Princess. ‘‘John, some 
mustard. Pray who is to be hanged ? ” 

“ Sire, it is the Prince,” whispers Glumboso to the King. 

“Talk about business after breakfast, I tell you ! ” says his 
Majesty, quite sulky. 

“ We shall have a war. Sire, depend on it,” says the Minister, 
“His father. King Padella * * * * ” 

“ His father. King who 1 ” says the King. “ King Padella 
is not Giglio’s father. My brother. King Savio, was Giglio’s 
father.” 

“ It’s Prince Bulbo they are hanging. Sire, not Prince Giglio,’* 
says the Prime Minister. 

“ You told me to hang the Prince, and I took the ugly one,” 
says Hedzoff. “ I didn’t, of course, think your Majesty intended 
to murder your own flesh and blood ! ” 

The King for all reply flung the plate of sausages at 
Hedzoff’s head. The Princess cried out, “ Hee-karee-karee ! ” 
and fell down in a fainting-fit. 

“ Turn the cock of the urn upon her Royal Highness,” said 
the King, and the boiling water gradually revived her. His 
Majesty looked at his watch, compared it by the clock in the 
parlor, and by that of the church in the square opposite ; then 
he wound it up ; then he looked at it again. “ The great ques- 
tion is,” says he, “ am I fast or am I slow? If I’m slow, we 
may as well go on with breakfast. If I’m fast, why, there is 
just the possibility of saving Prince Bulbo. It’s a doosid awk- 
ward mistake, and upon my word, Hedzoff, I have the greatest 
mind to have you hanged too.” 

“ Sire, I did but my duty : a soldier has but his orders. I 


2o6 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


didn’t expect, after forty-seven years of faithful service, that my 
sovereign would think of putting me to a felon’s death I ” 

“ A hundred thousand plagues upon you ! Can’t you see 
that while you are talking my Bulbo is being hung ? ” screamed 
the Princess. 

“ By Jove ! she’s always right, that girl, and I’m so absent,” 
says the King, looking at his watch again, “ Ha ! Hark, there 
go the drums ! What a doosid awkward thing though ! ” 

“ O Papa, you goose I Write the reprieve, and let me run 
with it,” cries the Princess — and she got a sheet of paper, and 
pen and ink, and laid them before the King. 

“ Confound it ! Where are my spectacles ? ” the Monarch 
exclaimed. “ Angelica ! Go up into my bedroom, look under 
my pillow, not your mamma’s ; there you’ll see my keys. Bring 

them down to me, and Well, well ! what impetuous things 

these girls are ! ” Angelica was gone, and had run up panting 
to the bedroom and found the keys, and was back again before 
the King had finished a muffin. “ Now, love,” says he, “ you 
must go all the way back for my desk, in which my spectacles 
are. If you would but have heard me out * * * Be hanged 
to her ! There she is off again. Angelica I Angelica ! ” 
When his Majesty called in his loud voice, she knew she must 
obey, and came back. 

“ My dear, when you go out of a room, how often have I 
told you, shut the door ? That’s a darling. That’s all.” At 
last the keys and the desk and the spectacles were got, and the 
King mended his pen, and signed his name to a reprieve, and 
Angelica ran with it as swift as the wind. “ You’d better stay, 
my love, and finish the muffins. There’s no use going. Be 
sure it’s too late. Hand me over that raspberry jam, please,” 
said the Monarch. “ Bong ! Bawong 1 There goes the half 
hour. I knew it was.” 

Angelica ran, and ran, and ran, and ran. She ran up Fore 
Street, and do,wn High Street^ and through the Market-place, 
and down to the left, and over the bridge, and up the blind 
alley, and back again, and round by the Castle, and so along 
by the Haberdasher’s on the right, opposite the lamp-post, and 
round the square, and she came — she came to the Execution 
place^ where she saw Bulbo laying his head on the block ! ! { 
The executioner raised his axe, but at that moment the Princess 
came panting up and cried Reprieve. “ Reprieve ! ” screamed 
the Princess. “ Reprieve ! ” shouted all the people. Up the 
scaffold stairs she sprang, with the agility of a lighter of lamps ; 
and flinging herself in Bulbo’s arms, regardless of all ceremony, 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


207 

she cried out, “ O my Prince ! my lord ! my love j my Bulbo ! 
Thine Angelica has been in time to save thy precious existence, 
sweet rose-bud ; to prevent thy being nipped in thy young 
bloom ! Had aught befallen thee, Angelica too had died, and 
welcomed death that joined her to her Bulbo.” 

“ H’m ! there’s no accounting for tastes,” said Bulbo, look- 
ing so very much puzzled and uncomfortable, that the Princess, 
in tones of tenderest strai- , asked the cause of his disquiet. 

“ I tell you what it is, .ingelica,” said he : “since T came 
here, yesterday, there has been such a row, and disturbance, 
and quarrelling, and fighting, and chopping of heads off, and 
the deuce to pa}^, that I am inclined to go back to Crim 
Tartary.” 

“ But with me as, thy bride, my Bulbo ! Though wherever 
thou art is Crim Tartary to me, my bold, my beautiful, my 
Bulbo ! ” 

“ Well, well, I suppose we must be married,” says Bulbo. 
“ Doctor, you came to read the Funeral Service — read the 
Marriage Service, will you ? What must be, must. That will 
satisfy Angelica, and then, in the name of peace and quietness, 
do let us go back to breakfast.” 

Bulbo had carried a rose in his mouth all the time of the 
dismal ceremony. It was a fairy rose, and he was told by his 
mother that he ought never to part with it. So he had kept 
it between his teeth, even when he laid his poor head upon the 
block, hoping vaguely that some chance would turn up in his 
favor. As he began to speak to Angelica, he forgot about the 
rose, and of course it dropped out of his mouth. The romantic 
Princess instantly stooped and seized it. “ Sweet rose ! ” she 
exclaimed, “ that bloomed upon my Bulbo’s lip, never, never 
will I part from thee ! ” and she placed it in her bosom. And 
you know Bulbo couldn't ask her to give the rose back again. 
And they went to breakfast ; and as they walked, it appeared to 
Bulbo that Angelica became more exquisitely lovely every 
moment. 

He was frantic until they were married ; and now, strange 
to say, it was Angelica who didn’t care about him ! He knelt 
down, he kissed her hand, he prayed and begged ; he cried 
with admiration ; while she for her part said she really thought 
they might wait : it seemed to her he was not handsome any 
more — no, not at all, quite the reverse ; and not clever, no, 
very stupid ; and not well bred, like Giglio \ no, on the con- 
trary, dreadfully vul 

What, I cannot say, for King Valoroso roared out, Fooh^ 


20 ^ 


Tr-IK ROSE A ATE THE RING. 


Stuff ! ” in a terrible voice. “ We will have no more of this 
shilly-shallying ! Call the Archbishop, and let the Prince and 
Princess be married off-hand ! ” 

So, married they were, and T am sure for my part I trust 
they will be happy. 


XII. 

HOW betsinda fled, and what became of her. 

Betsindx wandered on and on, till she passed through the 
town gates, and so on the great Crim Tartary road, the very 
way on which Giglio too was going. “ Ah ! ” thought she, as 
the diligence passed her, of which the conductor was blowing a 
delightful tune on his horn, “how I should like to, be on that 
coach ! ” But the coach and the jingling horses were very soon 
gone. She little knew who was in it, though very likely she 
was thinking of him all the time. 

Then came an empty cart, returning from market ; and the 
driver being a kind man, and seeing such a very pretty girl 
trudging along the road with bare feet, most good-naturedly 
gave her a seat. He said he lived on the confines of the forest, 
where his old father was a woodman, and, if she liked, he would 
take her so far on the road. All roads were the same to little 
Betsinda, so she very thankfully took this one. 

And the carter put a cloth round her bare feet, and gave her 
some bread and cold bacon, and was very kind to her. For all 
that she was very cold and melancholy. When after travelling 
on and on, evening came, and all the black pines were bending 
with snow, and there, at last, was the comfortable light beam- 
ing in the woodman’s windows ; and so they arrived, and went 
into his cottage. He was an old man, and had a number of 
children, who were just at supper, with nice hot bread-and-milk, 
when their elder brother arrived with the cart. And they 
jumped and clapped their hands ; for they were good children ; 
and he had brought them toys from the town. And when they 
saw the pretty stranger, they ran to her, and brought her to the 
fire, and rubbed her poor little feet, and brought her bread-and- 
milk. 

“ Look, Father ! ” they said to the old woodman, “ look at 
this poor girl, and see what cold feet she has. They are as 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


209 

white as our milk And look and see what an odd cloak she 
has, just like the bit of velvet that hangs up in our cupboard, 
and which you found that day the little cubs were killed by 
King Padella, in the forest ! And look, why, bless us all ! she 
has got round her neck just such another little shoe as that you 
brought home, and have shown us so often — a little blue velvet 
shoe ! ” 

“What,’’ said the old woodman, — “What is this about a 
shoe and a cloak ? ” 

^ And Betsinda explained that she had been left, when quite 
a little child, at the town with this cloak and this shoe. And 
the persons who had taken care of her had — had been angry 
with her, for no fault, she hoped, of her own. And they had- 
sent her away with her old clothes — -and here, in fact, she was. 
She remembered having been in' a forest — and perhaps it was 
a dream — it was so very odd and strange — having lived in a 
cave with lions there ; and, before that, having lived in a very, 
very fine house, as fine as the King’s, in the town. 



When the woodman heard this he was so astonished, it was 
quite curious to see how astonished he was. He went to his 
cupboard, and took out of a stocking a five-shilling piece of 
King Cavolfiore, and vowed it was exactly like the young woman. 
And then he produced the shoe and the piece of velvet which 
he had kept so long, and compared them with the things which 
Betsinda wore. In Betsinda’s little shoe was written, “ Hopkins, 
maker to the Royal Family ; ” so in the other shoe was written, 
“ Hopkins, maker to the Royal Family.” In the inside of 
Betsinda’s piece of cloak was embroidered, “ prin rosal ; ” in 
the other piece of cloak was embroidered “cess ba. No. 246.” 
So that when put together you read, “princess rosalba. 
No. 246.” 

On seeing this, the dear old woodman fell down on his knee, 



210 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


saying : “ O my princess, O my gracious royal lady, O my rights 
ful Queen of Crim Tartary, — hail thee — I acknowledge thee 
■ — I do thee homage ! ” And in token of his fealty, he rubbed 
his venerable nose three times on the ground, and put the 
Princess’s foot on his head. 

“ Why,” said she, “ my good woodman, you must be a noble^ 
man of my royal father’s Court ! ” For in her lowly retreat, 
and under the name of Betsinda, Her Majesty, Rosalba, 
Queen of Crim Tartary, had read of the customs of all foreign 
courts and nations. 

“ Marry, indeed am I, my gracious liege — the poor Lord 
Spinachi once, the humble woodman these fifteen years syne — 
ever since the tyrant Padella (may ruin overtake the treacherous 
knave !) dismissed me from my post of First Lord.” 

“ First Lord of the Toothpick and Joint Keeper of the 
Snuff-box? I mind me! Thou heldest these posts under our 
royal Sire. They are restored to thee. Lord Spinachi I I make 
thee knight of the second class of our Order of the Pumpkin 
(the first class being reserved for crowned heads alone). Rise, 
Marquis of Spinachi I ” And with indescribable majesty, the 
Queen, who had no sword handy, waved the pewter spoon, with 
which she had been taking her bread-and-milk, over the bald 
head of the old nobleman, whose tears absolutely made a puddle 
on the ground, and whose dear children went to bed that night 
Lords and Ladies Bartolomeo, Ubaldo, Catarina, and Ottavia 
degli Spinachi! 

The acquaintance Her Majesty showed with the history 
and noble families of her empire, was wonderful. “ The House 
of Broccoli should remain faithful to us,” she said; “they were 
ever welcome at our Court. Have the Articiocchi, as was their 
wont, turned to the Rising Sun ? The family of Sauerkraut 
must sure be with us — they were ever welcome in the halls of 
King Cavolfiore.” And so she went on enumerating quite a 
list of the nobility and gentry of Crim Tartary, so admirably 
had her Majesty profited by her studies while in exile. 

The old Marquis of Spinachi said he could answer for them 
all : that the whole country groaned under Padella’s tyranny, 
and longed to return to ’ts rightful sovereign ; and late as it 
was, he sent his children, who knew the forest well, to summon 
this nobleman and that ; and when his eldest son, who had 
been rubbing the horse down and giving him his supper, came 
into the house for his own, the Marquis told him to put his 
boots on, and a saddle on the mare, and ride hither and thither 
to Such and such people. 


THE ROSE AND THE RlNd,. 


211 


When the young man heard who his companion in the cart 
herd been, he too knelt down and put her royal foot on his 
head ; he too bedewed the ground with his tears ; he was fran- 
tically in love with her, as everybody now was who saw her : so 
were the young Lords Bartolomeo and Ubaldo, who punched 
each other’s little heads out of jealousy : and so, when they 
came from east and west at the summons of the Marquis degl'i 
Spinachi, were the Crim Tartar Lords who still remained faith- 
ful to the House of Cavolfiore. They were such very old gen- 
tlemen for the most part, that her Majesty never suspected their 
absurd passion, and went among them quite unaware of the 
havoc her beauty was causing, until an old blind Lord who had 
joined her party told her what the truth was ; after which, for 
fear of making the people too much in love with her, she always 
wore a veil. She went about privately, from one nobleman’s 
castle to another : and they visited amongst themselves again, 
and had meetings, and composed proclamations and counter- 
proclamations, and distributed all the best places of the 'king- 
dom amongst one another, and selected who of the opposition 
party 'should be executed when the Queen came to her own. 
And so in about a year they were ready to move. 

The party of Fidelity was in truth composed of very feeble 
old fogies for the most part : they went about the country 
waving their old swords and flags, and calling “ God save the 
Queen ! ” and King Padella happening to be absent upon an 
invasion, they had their own way for a little, and to be sure the 
people were very enthusiastic whenever they saw the Queen ; 
otherwise the vulgar took matters very quietly — for, they said, 
as far as they could recollect, they were pretty well as much 
taxed in Cavolfiore’s time as now in Padella’s. 


XIII. 

HOW QUEEN ROSALBA CAME TO THE CASTLE OF THE BOLD COUNT 
HOGGINARMO. 

Her Majesty, having indeed nothing else to give, made 
all her followers Knights of the Pumpkin, and Marquises, Earls, 
and Baronets ; and they had a little court for her, and made 
her a little crown of gilt paper, and a robe of cotton velvet j 


212 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


and they quarrelled about the places to be given away in her 
court, and about rank and precedence and dignities ; — you can’t 
think how they quarrelled ! The poor Queen was very tired of 
her honors before she had them a month, and I dare say sighed 
sometimes even to be a lady’s-maid again. But we must all do 
our duty in our respective stations, so the Queen resigned her- 
self to perform hers. 

We have said how it happened that none of the Usurper’s 
troops came out to oppose this Army of Fidelity : it pottered 
along as nimbly as the gout of the principal commanders al- 
lowed : it consisted of twice as many officers as soldiers ; and 
at length passed near the estates of one of the most powerful 
noblemen of the country, who had not declared for the Queen, 
but of whom her party had hopes, as he was always quarrelling 
with King Padella. 

When they came close to his park gates, this nobleman sent 
to say he would wait upon her Majesty ; he was a most power- 
ful warrior, and his name was Count Hogginarmo, whose hel- 
met it took two strong negroes to carry. He knelt down before 
her and said, ‘‘ Madam and liege, lady ! it becomes the great 
nobles of the Crimean realm to show every outward sign of re- 
spect to the wearer of the Crown, whoever that may be. We 
testify to our own nobility in acknowledging yours. The bold 
Hogginarmo bends the knee to the first aristocracy of his 
country.” 

Rosalba said the bold Count of Hogginarmo was un- 
commonly kind ; but she felt afraid of him, even while he was 
kneeling, and his eyes scowled at her from between his whiskers 
which grew up to them. 

‘‘ The first Count of the Empire, madam,” he went on, 
“ salutes the Sovereign. The Prince addressed himself to the 
not more noble lady ! Madam, my hand is free, and I offer it, 
and my heart and my sword, to your service ! My three wives 
lie buried in my ancestral vaults. The third perished but a 
year since ; and this heart pines for a consort ! Deign to be 
mine, and I swear to bring to your bridal table the head of 
King Padella, the eyes ar.d nose of his son Prince Bulbo, the 
light hand and ears of the usurping Sovereign of Paflagonia, 
which country shall henceforth be an appanage to your — to 
our Crown ! Say yes ; Hogginarmo is not accustomed to be 
denied. Indeed I cannot contemplate the possibility of a re- 
fusal ; for frightful will be the result ; dreadful the murders ; 
furious the devastation ; horrible the tyranny ; tremendous the 
tortures, misery, taxation, which the people of this realm will 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


213 


endur^ if Hogginarmo’s wrath be aroused ! I see consent in 
your Majesty’s lovely' eyes — their glances fill my soul with 
rapture ! ” 

“ Oh, sir ! ” Rosalba said, withdrawing her hand in great 
fright. “Your lordship is exceedingly kind; but I am sorry 
to tell you that I have a prior attachment to a young gentle- 
man by the name of — Prince — Giglio — and never — never can 
marry any one but him.” 

Who can describe Hogginarmo’s wrath at this remark ? 
Rising up from the ground, he ground his teeth so that fire 
flashed out of his mouth, from which at the same time issued 
remarks and language, so loud^ violent^ and improper^ that this 
pen shall never repeat them ! “ R-r-r-r-r-r — Rejected ! Fiends 

and perdition ! The bold Hogginarmo rejected ! All the 
world shall hear of my rage ; and you, madam, you above all 
shall rue it ! ” And kicking the two negroes before him, he 
rushed away, his whiskers streaming in the wind. 

Her Majesty’s Privy Council was in a dreadful panic when 
they saw Hogginarmo issue from the royal presence in such 
a towering rage, making footballs of the poor negroes — a panic 
which the events justified. They marched off from Hoggin- 
armo’s park very crestfallen j and in another half-hour they 
were met by that rapacious chieftain with a few of his followers, 
who cut, slashed, charged, whacked, banged, and pommelled 
amongst them, took the queen prisoner, and drove the Army 
of Fidelity to I don’t where. 

Poor Queen ! Hogginarmo, her conqueror, would not con- 
descend to see her. “ Get a horse-van ! ” he said to his grooms, 
“ clap the hussey into it, and send her, with my compliments, 
to his Majesty King Padella.” 

Along with his lovely prisoner, Hogginarmo sent a letter 
full of servile compliments and loathsome flatteries to King 
Padella, for whose life, and that of his royal family, the hypo- 
critical humbug pretended to offer the most fulsome prayers. 
And Hogginarmo promised speedily to pay his humble homage 
at his august master’s throne, of which he begged leave to be 
counted the most loyal and constant defender. Such a wary 
old bird as King Padella was not to be caught by Master 
Hogginarmo’s chaffs and we shall hear presently how the tyrant 
treated this upstart vassal. No, no ; depend on’t, two such 
rogues do not trust one another. • 

So this poor queen was laid in the straw like Margery 
Daw, and driven along in the dark ever so many miles to the 
Court, where King Padella had now arrived, having vanquished 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


214 

all his enemies, murdered most of them, and brought some of 
the richest into captivity with him for the purpose of torturing 
them and finding out where they had hidden their money. 

Rosalba heard their shrieks and groans in the dungeon in 
which she was thrust : a most awful black hole, full of bats, 
rats, mice, toads, frogs, mosquitoes, bugs, fleas, serpents, and 
every kind of horror. ' No light was let into it, otherwise the 
jailers might have seen her and fallen in love with her, as an 
owl that lived up in the roof of the tower did, and a cat, you 
know, who can see in the dark, and having set its green eyes 
on Rosalba, never would be got to go back to the turnkey’s 
wife to whom it belonged. And the toads in the dungeon 
came and kissed her feet, and the vipers wound round her neck 
and arms, and never hurt her, so charming was this poor 
Princess in the midst of her misfortunes. 

At last when she had been kept in this place ei>er so long^ 
the door of the dungeon opened, and this terrible King 
Padella came in. 

But what he said and did must be reserved for another 
chapter, as we must now back to Prince Giglio. 


XIV. 

WHAT BECAME OF GIGLIO. 

The idea of marrying such an old creature as Gruffanuff, 
frightened Prince Giglio so, that he ran up to his room, packcv" 
his trunks, fetched in a couple of porters, and was off to the 
diligence office in a twinkling. 

It was well that he was so quick in his operations, did not 
dawdle over his luggage, and took the early coach : for as 
soon as the mistake about Prince Bulbo was found out, that 
cruel Glumboso sent up a couple of policemen to Prince 
Giglio’s room, with orders that he should be carried to Newgate, 
and his head taken off before twelve o’clock. But the coach 
was out of the Paflagonian dominions before two o’clock ; and 
I dare say the express that was sent after Prince Giglio did not 
ride very quick, for many people in Paflagonia had a regard for 
Giglio, as the son of their old sovereign : a prince who, with all 
his weaknesses, was very much better than his brother, the 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


315 

usurping, lazy, careless, passionate, tyrannical reigning monarch. 
That Prince busied himself with the balls, f^tes, masquerades, 
hunting-parties and so forth, which he thought proper to give 
on the occasion of his daughter’s marriage to Prince Bulbo ; and 
let us trust was not sorry in his own heart that his brother’s son 
had escaped the scaffold. 

It was very cold weather, and the snow was on the ground, 
and Giglio, who gave his name as simple Mr. Giles, was very 
glad to get a comfortable place in the coupe of the diligence, 
where he sat with the conductor and another gentleman. At 
the first stage from Blombodinga, as they stopped to change 
horses, there came up to the diligence a very ordinary, vulgar^ 
looking woman, with a bag under her arm, who asked for a 
place. All the inside places were taken, and the young woman 
was informed that if she wished to travel . she must go upon the 
roof ; and the passenger inside with Giglio (a rude person, I 
should think,) put his head out of the window and said, “Nice 
weather for travelling outside ! I wish you a pleasant journey, 
my dear.” The poor woman coughed very much, and Giglio 
pitied her. “ I will give up my place to her,” says he, “ rather 
than she should travel in the cold air with that horrid cough.” 
On which the vulgar traveller said, “ You'd keep her warm, I 
am sure, if it’s a muff shQ wants.” On which Giglio pulled his 
nose, boxed his ears, hit him in the eye, and gave this vulgar 
person a warning never to call him muffdigdJm. 

Then he sprang up gayly on to the roof of the diligence, and 
made himself very comfortable in the straw. The vulgar trav- 
eller got down only at the next station, and Giglio took his 
place again, and talked to the person next to him. She ap- 
peared to be a most agreeable, well-informed, and entertaining 
female. They travelled together till night, and she gave Giglio 
all sorts of things out of the bag which she carried, and which 
indeed seemed to contain the most wonderful collection of 
articles. He was thirsty — out there came a pint-bottle of Bass’s 
pale ale, and a silver mug ! Hungry — she took out a cold fowl, 
some slices of ham, bread, salt, and a most delicious piece of 
cold plum-pudding, and a little glass of brandy afterwards. 

As they travelled, this plain looking, queer woman talked 
to Giglio on a variety of subjects, in which the poor Prince 
showed his ignorance as much as she did her capacity. He 
owned, with many blushes, how ignorant he was : on which the 
lady said, “ My dear Gigl — my good Mr. Giles, you are a young 
man, and have plenty of time before you. You have nothing 
to do but to improve yourself., Who knows but that you may 


2i6 


FHE ROSE AND THE RING. 


find use xor your knowledge some day ? — when— when you may 
be wanted at home, as some people may be.” 

“ Good heavens, madam ! ” says, he, “ do you know me ? ” 

“ I know a number of funny things,” says the lady. I 
have been at some people’s christenings, and turned away from 
other folks’ doors. I have seen some people spoilt by good 
fortune, and others, as I hope, improved by hardship. I advise 
you to stay at the town where the coach stops for the night. 
Stay there and study, and remember your old friend to whom 
you were kind.” 

“ And who is my old friend ? ” asked Giglio. 

“ When you want anything,” says the lady, “ look in this 
bag, which I leave to you as a present, and be grateful to 

“ To whom, madam ” says he. 

“ To the Fairy Blackstick,” says the lady, flying out of the 
window. And when Giglio asked the conductor if he knew 
where the lady was — 

“ What lady ? ” says the man. “ There has been no lady in 
this coach, except the old woman who got out at the last stage.” 
And Giglio thought he had been dreaming. But there was the 
bag which Blackstick had given him lying on his lap ; and 
when he came to the town he took it in his hand and went into 
the inn. 

They gave him a very bad bedroom, and Giglio, when he 
woke in the morning, fancying himself in the Royal Palace 
at home, called, “John, Charles, Thomas! My chocolate — ■ 
my dressing-gown— my slippers ; ” but nobody came. There 
was no bell, so he went and bawled out for waiter on the top of 
the stairs. 


The landlady came up, looking — looking like this — 




■ THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


^17 

“ What are you a-hollaring and a-bellaring for here., young, 
man ? ” says she. 

“ There’s no warm water — no servants ; my boots are not 
even cleaned.” 

“ He ! he ! Clean ’em yourself,” says the landlady. “ You 
young students give yourselves pretty airs. I never heard 
such impudence.” 

‘‘ I’ll quit the house this instant,” says Giglio. 

“ The sooner the better, young man. Pay your bill and be 
off. All my rooms is wanted for gentlefolks, and not for such 
as you.” 

“You may well keep the ‘Bear Inn,’ ” said Giglio. “You 
should have yourself painted as the sign.” 

The landlady of the “ Bear ” went away growling. And 
Giglio returned to his room, where the first thing he saw was 
the fairy bag lying on the table, which seemed to give a little 
hop as he came in. “ I hope it has some breakfast in it,” says 
Giglio, “ for I have only a very little money left.” But on 
opening the bag, what do you think Was there ? A blacking- 
brush and a pot of Warren’s jet, and on the pot was written, 

“ Poor young men their boots must black t 
Use me and cork me and put me back.” 

So Giglio laughed and blacked his boots, and put back the 
brush and the bottle into the bag. 

When he had done dressing himself, the bag gave another 
little hop, and he went to it and took out — 

1. A table-cloth and a napkin. 

2. A sugar-basin full of the best loaf-sugar. 

4, 6, 8, 10. Two forks, two teaspoons, two knives, and a 
pair of sugar-tongs, and a butter-knife, all marked G. 

11, 12, 13. A teacup, saucer, and slop-basin. 

14. A jug full of delicious cream. 

15. A canister with black tea and green. 

16. A large tea-urn and boiling water. 

17. A saucepan, containing three eggs nicely done. 

18. A quarter of a pound of best Epping butter. 

19. A brown loaf. 

And if he hadn’t enough now for a good breakfast, I should 
like to know who ever had one ? 

Cjiglio, having had his breakfast, popped all the things back 
into the bag, and went out looking for lodgings. I forgot to 
say that this celebrated university town was called Bosforo. 

He took a modest lodging opposite the Schools, paid hia 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


2lS 

bill at the inn, and went to his apartment with his trunk, carpefe 
bag, and not forgetting, we may be sure, his other bag. 

When he opened his trunk, which the day before he had 
filled with his best clothes, he found it contained only books. 
And in the first of them which he opened there was written — ■ 

** Clothes for the back, books for the head : 

Read, and remember them when they are read.* 

And in his bag, when Giglio looked in it, he found a student’s 
cap and gown, a writing-book full of paper, an inkstand, pens, 
and a Johnson’s dictionary, which was very useful to him, as his 
spelling had been sadly neglected. 

So he sat down and worked away, very, very hard, for a 
whole year, during which “ Mr. Giles ” was quite an example 
to all the students in the University of Bosforo. He never got 
into any riots or disturbances. The professors all spoke well 
of him, and the student3 liked him too ; so that when at ex« 
.amination he took all the prizes, viz. : — 

' The Spelling Prize f The French Prize 
The Writing Prize J The Arithmetical Prize 
The History Prize 1 The Latin Prize 
The Catechism Prize [ The Good Conduct Prize, 

all his fellow-students said, “ Hurray ! Hurray for Giles 1 Giles 
is the boy — the student’s joy! Hurray for Giles I ” And he 
brought quite a quantity of medals, crowns, books, and tokens 
of distinction home to his lodgings. 

One day after the Examinations, as he was diverting himself 
at a coffee-house with two friends — (Did I tell you that in his 
bag, every Saturday night, he found just enough to pay his 
bills, with a guinea over for pocket-money I Didn’t I tell you ? 
Well, he did, as sure as twice twenty makes forty-five) — he 
chanced to look in the Bosforo Chronicle., and read off quite 
easily (for he could spell, read, and write the longest words 
now) the following — 

“Romantic Circumstance. — One of the most extraordi- 
nary adventures that we have ever heard has set the neighbor- 
ing country of Crim Tartary in .a state of great excitement. 

“ It will be remembered that when the present revered 
sovereign of Crim Tartary, his Majesty King Padella, took 
possession of the throne, after having vanquished, in the terrific 
battle of Blunderbusco, the late King Cavolfiore., that Prince’s 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


2t9 

Only child, the Princess Rosalba, was not found in the royal 
palace, of which King Padella took possession, and, it was said, 
had strayed into the forest (being abandoned by all her attend- 
ants), where she had been eaten up by those ferocious lions, 
the last pair of which were captured some time since, and 
brought to the Tower, after killing several hundred persons. 

“ His Majesty King Padella, who has the kindest heart in 
the world, was grieved at the accident which had occurred to 
the harmless little Princess, for whom his Majesty’s known 
benevolence would certainly have provided a fitting establish- 
ment. But her death seemed to be certain. The mangled 
remains of a cloak, and a little shoe, were found in the forest, 
during a hunting-party, in which the intrepid sovereign of Crim 
Tartary slew two of the lions’ cubs with his own spear. And 
these interesting relics of an innocent little creature were car- 
ried home and kept by their finder, the Baron Spinachi, formerly 
an officer in Cavolfiore’s household. The Baron was disgraced 
in consequence of his known legitimist opinions, and has lived 
for some time, in the humble capacity of a wood-cutter, in a 
forest on the outskirts of the Kingdom of Crim Tartary. 

“ Last Tuesday week Baron Spinachi and a number of gen 
tleman attached to the former dynasty appeared in arms, cry- 
ing, ‘ God save P.osalba, the First Queen of Crim Tartary ! ’ 
and surrounding a lady whom report describes as ‘ beautiful 
exceedingly' Her history may be authentic, is certainly most 
romantic. 

“ The personage calling herself Rosalba states that she was 
brought out of the forest, fifteen years since, by a lady in a car 
drawn by dragons (this account is certainly improbable)^ that 
she was left in the Palace Garden of Blombodinga, where her 
Royal Highness the Princess Angelica, now married to his 
Royal Highness Bulbo, Crown Prince of Crim Tartary, 
found the child, and, with that elegant benevolence which 
has always distinguished the heiress of the throne of Paflagonia, 
gave the little outcast a shelter and a home I Her parentage 
not being known, and her garb very humble, the foundling was 
educated in the Palace in a menial capacity, under the name 
of Betsinda. 

“ She did not give satisfaction, and was dismissed, carrying 
with her, certainly, part of a mantle and a shoe which she had 
on when first found. According to her statement she quitted 
Blombodinga about a year ago, since which time she has been 
with the Spinachi family. On the very same morning the 
Prince Giglio,. nephew to the King of Paflagonia, a young 


22 - ’ the rose and the ring. 

Prince whose character for talent and order were, to sa)^ tiuth, 
none of the highest, also quitted Blombodinga, and has not been 
since heard of ! ” 

“What an extraordinary story!” said Smith and Jones, 
two young students, Giglio’s especial friends. 

“ Ha ! what is this ? ” Giglio went on, reading : 

“ Second Edition, Express. — We hear that the troop un- 
der Baron Spinachi has been surrounded, and utterly routed^ 
by General Count Hogginarmo, and the soi-disant Princess is 
sent a prisoner to the capital. 

“University News. — Yesterday, at the Schools, the dis- 
tinguished young student, Mr. Giles, read a Latin oration, and 
was complimented by the Chancellor of Bosforo, Dr. Prugnaro, 
with the highest University honor — the wooden spoon.” 

“Never mind that stuff,” says Giles, greatly disturbed. 
“ Come home with me, my friends. Gallant Smith 1 intrepid 
Jones! friends of my studies — partakers of my academic toils 
— I have that to tell shall astonish your honest minds.” 

“ Go it, old boy ! ” cried the impetuous Smith. 

“ Talk away, my buck ! ” says Jones, a lively fellow. 

With an air of indescribable dignity, Giglio checked their 
natural, but no more seemly, familiarity. “Jones, Smith, my 
good friends,” said the Prince, disguise is henceforth useless ; 
I am no more the humble student Giles, I am the descendant 
of a royal line.” 

“ Atavis edite regibus. I know, old co — ,” cried Jones. He 
was going to say “old cock,” but a flash from the royal eye 
again awed him. 

“ Friends,” continued the Prince, “ I am that Giglio : I am, 
in fact, Paflagonia. Rise, Smith, and kneel not in the public 
street. Jones, thou true heart ! My faithless uncle, when I 
was a baby, filched from me that brave crown my father left 
me, bred me, all young and careless of my rights, like unto 
hapless Hamlet, Prince of Denmark ; and had I any thoughts 
about my wrongs, soothed me with promises of near redress. I 
should espouse his daughter, young Angelica ; we two indeed 
should reign in Paflagonia. His words were false — false as 
Angelica’s heart ! — false as Angelica’s hair, color, front teeth ! 
She looked with her skew eyes urgn young Bulbo, Grim Tar- 
tary’s stupid heir, and she preferred him. ’Twas then I turned 
my eyes upon Betsinda — Rosalba, as she now is. And I saw 
in her the blushing sum of all perfection ; the pink of maiden 
modesty ; the nymph that my fond heart had ever woo’d in 
dreams,” &c., &c. 


TBE ROSE AND THE RING. 2^1 

(I don’t give this speech, which was very fine, Dut very 
long; and though Smith and Jones knew nothing about the 
circumstances, my dear reader does : so I go on.) 

The Prince and his young friends hastened home to his 
apartment, highly excited by the intelligence, as no doubt by 
the royal narrator'' s admirable manner of recounting it ; and 
they ran up to his room, where he had worked so hard at his 
books. 

On his writing-table was his bag, grown so long that the 
Prince could not help remarking it. He went to it, opened it, 
and what do you think he found in it ? 

A splendid long gold-handled, red-velvet-scabbarded cut- 
and-thrust sword, and on the sheath was embroidered “ Ros- 
ALBA FOR Ever ! ” 

He drew out the sword, which flashed and illuminated the 
whole room, and called out “ Rosalba for ever ! ” Smith and 
Jones following him, but quite respectfully this time, and taking 
the time from his Royal Highness. 

And now his trunk opened, with a sudden pong, and out 
there came three ostrich feathers in a gold crown, surrounding 
a beautiful shining steel helmet, a cuirass, a pair of spurs, 
finally a complete suit of armor. 

The books on Giglio’s shelves we^e all gone. Where there 
had been some great dictionaries, Giglio’s friends found two 
pairs of jack -boots labelled “ Lieutenant Smith,” “ — — ; Jones, 
Esqs.,” which fitted them to a nicety. Besides, there were hel- 
mets, back and breast plates, swords, &c., just like in Mr. G. 
P. R. James’s novels ; and that evening three cavaliers might 
have been seen issuing from the gates of Bosforo, in whom the 
porters, proctors, &c., never thought of recognizing the young 
Prince and his friends. 

They got horses at a livery-stable-keeper’s, and never drew 
bridle until they reached the last town on the frontier before 
you come to Grim Tartary. Here, as their animals were tired, 
and the cavaliers hungry, they stopped and refreshed at an 
hostel. I could make a chapter of this if I were like some 
writers, but I like to cram my measure tight down, you see, and 
give you a great deal for your money. And, in a word, they 
had some bread-and-cheese and ale up stairs on the balcony of 
the inn. As they were drinking, drums and trumpets sounded 
nearer and nearer, the market-place was filled with soldiers, 
and his Royal Highness looking forth, recognized the Pafla- 
gonian banners, and th'^ ^^'^flagonian national air which the 
bands were playing. 


222 


THE ROSE ANju THE RINU. 


The troops all made for the tavern at once, and as they 
came up, Giglio exclaimed, on beholding their leader, “ Whom 
do I see ? Yes ! — no ! It is, it is ! — Phoo ! — No, it can’t be ! 
Yes! it is my friend, my -gallant, faithful veteran, Captain 
Hedzoff 1 Ho, Hedzoff 1 Knowest thou not thy Prince, thy 
Giglio ? Good Corporal, methinks we once were friends. Ha, 
Sergeant, an my memory serves me right, we have had many a 
bout at singlestick.” 

“ I’faith, we have a many, good my lord,” says the Ser- 
geant. 

“ Tell me what means this mighty armament,” continued 
his Royal Highness from the balcony, “ and whither march my 
Paflagonians 1 ” 

Hedzoff’s head fell. “ My lord,” he said, “ we march as 
the allies of great Padella, Crim Tartary’s monarch.’^ 

“ Crim Tartary’s usurper, gallant Hedzoff ! Crim Tartary’s 
grim tyrant, honest Hedzoff ! ” said the Prince, on the balcony, 
quite sarcastically. 

“ A soldier, Prince, must needs obey his orders : mine are 
to help his Majesty Padella. And also (though alack that I 
should say it !) to seize wherever I should light upon him ” 

“ First catch your hare I ha, Hedzoff ! ” exclaimed his Royal 
Highness. 

“ — On the body of Giglio^ whilom Prince of Paflagonia,” 
Hedzoff went on, with indescribable emotion. “ My Prince, 
give up your sword without ado. Look ! we are thirty thousand 
men to one ! ” 

“ Give up my sword ! Giglio give up his sword ! ” cried 
the Prince ; -and stepping well forward on to the balcony, the 
royal youth, without preparation^ delivered a speech so mag- 
nificent, that no report can do justice to it. It was all' in 
blank verse (in which, from this time, he invariably spoke, as 
more becoming his majestic station). It lasted for three days 
and three nights, during which not a single person who heard 
him was tired, or remarked the difference between daylight 
and dark. The soldiers only cheering tremendously when 
occasionally — once in nine hours — the Prince paused to suck 
an orange, which Jones took out of the bag. He explained, 
in terms which we say we shall not attempt to convey, the 
whole history of the previous transaction, and his determi- 
nation not only not to give up his sword, but to assume his 
rightful crown ; and at the end of this extraordinary, this truly 
gigantic effort. Captain Hedzoff flung up his helmet and cried, 
“ Hurtay I Hurray 1 Long live iung Giglio I ’ 


THE ROSE AND THE RINa 


223 


Such were the consequences of having employed his time 
well at college ! 

When the excitement had ceased, beer was ordered out for 
the army, and their Sovereign himself did not disdain a little ! 
And now it was with some alarm that Captain Hedzoff told him 
his division was only the advanced guard of the Paflagonian 
contingent hastening to King Padella’s aid — the main force 
being a day’s march in the rear under His Royal Highness 
Prince Bulbo. 

“ We will wait here, good friend, to beat the Prince,” his 
Majesty said, and then will make his royal Father wince.” 


XV. 

WE RETURN TO ROSALBA. 

King Padella made very similar proposals to Rosalba to 
those which she had received from the various Princes who, 
as we have seen, had fallen in love with her. His Majesty was 
a widower, and offered to marry his fair captive that instant, 
but she declined his invitation in her usual polite gentle manner, 
stating that Prince Giglio was her love, and that any other 
union was out of the question. Having tried tears and sup- 
plications in vain, this violent-tempered monarch menaced her 
with threats and tortures ; but she declared she would rather 
suffer all these than accept the hand of her father’s murderer, 
who left her finally, uttering the most awful imprecations, and 
bidding her prepare for death on the following morning. 

All night long the King spent in advising how he should 
get rid of this obdurate young creature. Cutting off her head 
was much too easy a death for her \ hanging was so common 
in his Majesty’s dominions that it no longer afforded him any 
sport : finally, he bethought himself of a pair of fierce lions 
which had lately been sent to him as presents, and he deter- 
mined, with these ferocious brutes, to hunt poor Rosalba down. 
Adjoining his castle was an amphitheatre where the Prince 
indulged in bull-baiting, rat-hunting, and other ferocious sports. 
The two lions were kept in a cage under this place ; their 
roaring might be heard over the whole city, the inhabitants of 
which, I am sorry to say, thronged in numbers to see a poor 
young lady gobbled up by two wild beasts, 

The King took his place in the royal box, having the 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


12 \ 

officers of the Court around and the Count Hogginarmo by his 
side, upon whom his. Majesty was observed to look very fiercely, 
the fact is royal spies had told the monarch of Hogginarmo^s 
behavior, his proposals to Rosalba, and his offer to fight for 
the Crown. Black as thunder looked King Padella at this 
proud noble, as they sat in the front seats of the theatre 
waiting to see the tragedy whereof poor Rosalba was to be the 
heroine. 

At length the Princess was brought out in her night-gown, 
with all her beautiful hair falling down her back, and looking 
so pretty that even the beef-eaters and keepers of the wild 
animals wept plentifully at seeing her. And she walked with 
her poor little feet (only luckily the arena was covered with 
sawdust), and went and leaned up against a great stone in the 
centre of the amphitheatre, round which the Court and the 
people were seated in boxes, with bars before them, for fear 
of the great, fierce, red-maned, black-throated, long tailed, 
roaring, bellowing, rushing lions. 

And now the gates were opened, and with a Wurrawar- 
rurawarar ! ” two great lean, hungry, roaring lions rushed out of 
their den, where they had been kept for three weeks on noth- 
ing but a little toast-and-water, and dashed straight up to the 
stone where poor Rosalba was waiting. Commend her to your 
patron saints, all you kind people, for she is in a dreadful state. 

There was a hum and a buzz ail through the circus, and 
the fierce King Padella even felt a little compassion. But 
Count Hogginarmo, seated by his Majesty, roared out, 
-‘Hurray! Now for it! Soo-soo-soo ! ” that nobleman being 
uncommonly angry still at Rosalba’s refusal of him. _ 

But, O strange event! O remarkable circumstance! Q 
extraordinary coincidence, which I am sure none of you could 
by any possibility have divined ! When the lions came to Ros- 
alba, instead of devouring her with their great teeth, it was 
with kisses they gobbled her up ! They licked her pretty feet, 
they nuzzled their noses in her lap, they moo’d, they seemed to 
say, “ Dear, dear sister, don’t you recollect your brothers in 
the forest ? ” And she put her pretty white arms round their 
tawny necks, and kissed them. 

King Padella was immensely astonished. The Count Hog- 
ginarmo was extremely disgusted. “ Pooh ! ” the Count cried. 
“ Gammon ! ” exclaimed his lordship. “ These lions are tame 
beasts come from Wombwell’s or Astley’s. It is a shame to 
put people off in this way. I believe they are little boys 
dressed up in door-mats. They are no lions at all.” 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


225 

Ha i ” said the King, “ you dare to say ^ Gammon ! ’ to 
your Sovereign, do you ? These lions are no lions at all, aren’t 
they ? Ho, my beef-eaters I Ho 1 my body guard 1 Take 
this Count Hogginarmo and fling him into the circus ! Give 
him a sword and buckler, let him keep his armor on and his 
weather-eye out, and fight these lions.” 

The haughty Hogginarmo laid down his opera-glass and 
looked scowling round at the King and his attendants. 
Touch me not, dogs ! ” he said, “or by St. Nicholas the El- 
der, I wili gore you! Your Majesty thinks Hogginarmo is 
afraid? No, not of a hundred thousand lions! Follow me 
down into the circus. King Padella, and match thyself against 
one of yon brutes. Thou darest not? Let them both come 
on then ! ” 

And opening a grating of the box, he jumped lightly down 
into the circus. 

Wtirra 7uurra wurra wur-aw-aw-aw ! ! 

In about two minutes 
The Count Hogginarmo was 

GOBBLED UP 
by 

those lions, 

. bones, boots, and all, 

and 

There was an 

End of him. 


At this the King said, “ Serve him right, the rebellious 
ruffian! And now, as those lions won’t eat that young 
woman ” 

“ Let her off ! — let her off ! ” cried the crowd. 

“ NO ! ” roared the King, Let the beef-eaters go down and 
chop her into small pieces. If the lions defend her, let the 
archers shoot them to death. That hussey shall die in 
tortures ! ” 

“ A-a-ah ! ” cried the crowd. “ Shame ! shame ! ” 

“ Who dares cry out ‘ Shame ? ’ ” cried the furious poten- 
tate (so little can tyrants command their passions). “ Fling 
any scoundrel who says a word down among the lions!” I 
warrant you there was a dead silence then, which was broken 
by a “ Pang arang pang pangkarangpang ! ” and a Knight and 
a Herald rode in at the further end of the circus ; the Knight 
in full armor, with his vizor up, and bearing a letter on the 
point of his lance. 


226 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


‘‘ Ha ! ” exclaimed the King, “by my fay, ’tis Elephant and 
Castle, pursuivant^ of my brother of Paflagonia; and the 
Knight, and my memory serves me, is the gallant Captain 
Hedzoff ! What news from Paflagonia, gallant HedzofE? 
Elephant and Castle, beshrew me, thy trumpeting must have 
made thee thirsty. What will my trusty Herald like to drink 

“Bespeaking first safe-conduct from your lordship,’^ said 
Captain Hedzoff, “ before we take a drink of anything, permit 
us to deliver pur King’s message.” 

“My lordship, ha !” said Crim Tartary, frowning terrific- 
ally. “ That title soundeth strange in the anointed ears of a 
crowned King. Straightway speak out your message, Knight 
and Herald ! ” 

Reining up his charger in a most elegant manner close un- 
der the King’s balcony, Hedzoff turned to the Herald, and 
bade him begin. 

Elephant and Castle, dropping his trumpet over his shoulder, 
took a large sheet of paper out of his hat, and began to read : — 

“OYes! OYes! O Yes! Know all men by these pres- 
ents, that we, Giglio, King of Paflagonia, Grand Duke of Cap- 
padocia, Sovereign Prince of Turkey and the Sausage Islands, 
having assumed our rightful throne and title, long time falsely 
borne by our usurping uncle, styling himself King of Pafla- 
gonia,—” 

“ Ha 1 ” growled Padella. 

“ Hereby summon the false traitor Padella, calling himself 
King of Crim Tartary, — ” 

The King’s curses were dreadful. “ Go on. Elephant and 
Castle ! ” said the intrepid Hedzoff. 

“ — To release from cowardly imprisonment his liege lady 
and rightful sovereign, Rosalba, Queen of Crim Tartary, and 
restore her to her royal throne : in default of which, I, Giglio, 
proclaim the said Padella sneak, traitor, humbug, usurper, 
and coward. I challenge him to meet me, with fists or with 
pistols, with battle-axe or sword, with blunderbuss or single- 
stick, alone or at the head of his army, on foot, or on horse- 
back ; and will prove my words upon his wicked ugly body ! ” 

“ God save the King ! ” said Captain Hedzoff, executing a 
demivolte, two semilunes, and three caracols. 

“ Is that all ? ” said Padella, with the terrible calm of con- 
centrated fury. 

“ That, sir, is all my royal master’s message. Here is his 
Majesty’s letter in autograph, and here is his glove ; and if any 
gentleman of Crim Tartary chooses to find fault with his Ma' 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


227 


jesty’s expressions, I, Kustasoif Hedsoff, Captain of the Guard, 
am very much at his service.” And he waved his lance, and 
looked at the assembly all round. 

“ And what says my good brother of Paflagonia, my dear 
son’s father-in-law, to this rubbish .? ” asked the King. 

“ The King’s uncle hath been deprived of the crown he 
unjustly wore,” said Hedzoff gravely. “ He and his ex-Minis- 
ter, Glumboso, are now in prison waiting the sentence of my 
royal master. After the battle of Bombardaro ” 

‘‘ Of what ? ” asked the surprised Padella. 

“ — Of Bombardaro, where my liege, his present Majesty, 
would have performed prodigies of valor, but that the whole 
of his uncle’s army came over to our side, with the exception 
of Prince Bulbo ” 

“ Ah ! my boy, my boy, my Bulbo was no traitor ! ” cried 
Padella. 

Prince Bulbo, far from coming over to us, ran away, sir \ 
but I caught him. The Prince is a prisoner in our army, and 
the most terrific tortures await him if a hair of the Princess 
Rosalba’s head is injured.” 

“ Do they } ” exclaimed the furious Padella, who was now 
perfectly livid with rage. “ Do they indeed 1 So much the 
worse for Bulbo. I’ve twenty sons as lovely each as Bulbo. 
Not one but is as fit to reign as Bulbo. Whip, whack, flog, 
starve, rack, punish, torture Bulbo — break all his bones — roast 
him or flay him alive — pull all his pretty teeth out one by one ! 
But justly dear as Bulbo is to me, — Joy of my eyes, fond treas- 
ure of my soul ! — Ha, ha, ha, ha ! revenge is dearer still. Ho ! 
torturers, rack-men, executioners — light up the fires and make 
the pincers hot ! get lots of boiling lead ! — Bring out Rosalba ! 


XVI. 

HOW HEDZOFF RODE BACK AGAIN TO KING GIGLia 

Captain Hedzoff rode away when King Padella uttered 
this cruel command, having done his duty in delivering the mes- 
sage with which his royal master had intrusted him. Of course 
he was very sorry for Rosalba, but what could he do ? 

So he returned to King Giglio’s camp, and found the young 
monarch in a disturbed state of mind, smoking cigars in the 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 

royal tent. His Majesty's agitation was not appeased by the 
news that was brought by his ambassador. “ The brutal, ruth- 
less ruffian royal wretch I ” Giglio exclaimed. “ As England’s 
poesy has well remarked, ‘ The man that lays his hand upon a 
woman, save in the way of kindness, is a villain.’ Ha, Hed- 
zoff 

“ That he is, your Majesty,” said the attendants 

‘‘ And didst thou see her flung into the oil ? and didn’t the 
soothing oil — the emollient oil, refuse to boil, good Hedzoff — * 
and to spoil the fairest lady ever eyes did look on ? ” 

“ ’Faith, good my liege, I had no heart to look and see a 
beauteous lady'** boiling down ; I took your royal message to 
Padella, and bore his back to you. I told bim you would hold 
Prince Bulbo answerable. He only said that he had twenty 
sons as good as Bulbo, and forthwith he bade the ruthless 
executioners proceed.” 

“ O cruel father — O unhappy son,” cried the King. “ Go, 
some of you, and bring Prince Bulbo hither.” 

Bulbo was brought in chains, looking very uncomfortable. 
Though a prisoner, he had been tolerably hapjSy, perhaps be- 
cause his mind w'as at rest, and all the fighting was over, and 
he was playing at marbles with his guards, when the King sent 
for him. 

“ Oh, my poor Bulbo,” said his Majesty, with looks of in- 
finite compassion, “ hast thou heard the news ? ” (for you see 
Giglio wanted to break the thing gently to the Prince). “ Thy 
brutal father has condemned Rosalba — p-j>-j>ut her to death, 
P-j>p-prince Bulbo ! ” 

“ What, killed Betsinda ! Boo-hoohoo ! ” cried out Bulbo. 
“ Betsinda ! pretty Betsinda ! dear Betsinda I She was the 
dearest little girl in the world. I love her better twenty thou- 
sand times even than Angelica.” And he went on expressing 
his grief in so hearty and unaffected a manner, that the King 
was quite touched by it, and said, shaking Bulba’s hand, that 
he wished he had known Bulbo sooner. 

Bulbo, quite unconsciously, and meaning for the best, of- 
fered to come and sit with his Majesty, and smoke a cigar with 
him, and console him. The rojya/ kindness supplied Bulbo with 
a cigar; he had not had one, he said, since he was taken 
prisoner. n 

And now think what must have been the feelings of the 
most merciful of monarchs, when he informed his prisoner, that, 
in consequence of King Padella’s cruel and dastardly behavior 
to Rosalba, Prince Bulbo must instantly be executed 1 The 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


229 

noble Giglio could not restrain his tears, nor could the Grena- 
diers, nor the officers, nor could Buibo himself, when the matter 
was explained to him ; and he was brought to understand that 
his Majesty’s promise, of course, was above everythmgy and Bui- 
bo must submit. So poor Buibo was led out, — Hedzoff trying 
to console him by pointing out that if he had won the battle of 
Bombardaro, he might have hanged Prince Giglio. “ Yes ! But 
that is no comfort to me now ! ” said poor Buibo ; nor indeed 
was it, poor fellow. 

He was told the business would be done the next morning 
at eight, and was taken back to his dungeon, where every at- 
tention was paid to him. The jailer’s wife sent him tea, and 
the turnkey’s daughter begged him to write his name in her al- 
bum, where a many gentlemen had wrote it on like occasions 1 
Bother your album!” says Buibo. The Undertaker came 
and measured him for the handsomest coffin which money could 
buy : even this didn’t console Buibo. The Cook brought him 
dishes which he once used to like ; but he wouldn’t touch them : 
he sat down and began writing an adieu to Angelica, as the 
clock kept always ticking and the hands drawing nearer to 
next morning. The Barber came in at night, and offered to 
shave him for next day. Prince Buibo kicked him away, and 
went on writing a few words to Princess Angelica, as the clock 
kept always ticking and the hands hopping nearer and nearer 
to next morning. He got up on the top of a hat-box, on the 
top of a chair, on the top of his bed, on the top of his table, 
and looked out to see whether he might escape as the clock 
kept always ticking and the hands drawing nearer, and nearer, 
and nearer. 

But looking out of the window was one thing, and jumping 
another: and the town clock struck seven. So he got into bed 
for a little sleep, but the jailer came and woke him, and said, 
“ Git up, your Royal Ighness, if you please, it’s ten mimttes to 
eighth 

So poor Buibo got up : he had gone to bed in his clothes 
(the lazy boy), and he shook himself, and said he didn’t mind 
about dressing, or having any breakfast, thank you ; and he 
saw the soldiers who had come for him. “ Lead on ! ” he said \ 
and they led the way, deeply affected ; and they came into the 
courtyard, and out into the square, and there was King Giglio 
come to take leave of him, and his Majesty most kindly shook 
hands with him, and the g/oomy procession marched on : — when 
hark ! 

“ Haw — wurraw — wurraw — aworr I ” 


230 


TJIR ROSE AND THE RING. 


A roar of wild beasts was heard. And who sholud come 
riding into the town, frightening away the boys, and even the 
beadle and policeman, but Rosalba ! 

The fact is, that when Captain Hedzoff entered into the 
court of Snapdragon Castle, and was discoursing with King 
Padella, the Lions made a dash at the open gate, gobbled up 
the six beef-eaters in a jiffy, and away they went with Rosalba 
on the back of one of them, and they carried her, turn and turn 
about, till they came to the city where Prince Giglio’s army 
was encamped. 

When the King heard of the Queen’s arrival, you may 
think ■ how he rushed out of his breakfast-room to hand her 
Majesty off her Lion ! The Lions were grown as fat as pigs 
now, having had Hogginarmo and all those beef-eaters, and 
were so tame, anybody might pat them. 

While Giglio knelt (most gracefully) and helped the Prin- 
cess, Bulbo, for his part, rushed up and kissed the Lion. He 
flung his arms round the forest monarch ; he hugged him, and 
laughed and cried for joy. “ Oh, you darling old beast — oh ! 
how glad I am to see you, and the dear, dear Bets — that is, 
Rosalba.” 

What, is it you, poor Bulbo ? ” said the Queen. “ Oh, how 
glad I am to see you ! ” And she gave him her hand to kiss. 
King Giglio slapped him most kindly on the back, and said, 
“ Bulbo my boy, I am delighted, for your sake, that her Majesty 
has arrived.” 

“ So am I,” said Bulbo ; “ and you know why.” Captain 
Hedzoff here came up. “ Sire, it is half-past eight : shall 
we proceed with the execution ? ” 

“ Execution ? ” what for ? ” asked Bulbo. 

“ An officer only knows his orders,” repliea Captain Hedz- 
off, showing his warrant : on which his Majesty King Giglio 
smilingly said Prince Bulbo was reprieved this time, and most 
graciously invited him to breakfast. 


XVIL 

HOW A TREMENDOUS BATTLE TOOK PLACE, AND WHO WON IT. 

As soon as King Padella heard — what we know already — • 
that his victim, the lovely Rosalba, had escaped him, his 
Majesty’s fury knew no boundsj and he pitched the Lord 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


231 


Chancellor, Lord Chamberlain, and every officer of the Crown 
whom he could set eyes on, into the cauldron of boiling oil pre- 
pared for the Princess. Then he ordered out his whole army, 
horse, foot, and artillery ; and set forth at the head of an in- 
numerable host, and I should think twenty thousand drummers, 
trumpeters, and fifers. 

King Giglio’s advanced guard, you may be sure, kept that 
monarch acquainted with the enemy’s dealings, and he was in 
nowise disconcerted. He was much too polite to alarm the 
Princess, his lovely guest, with any unnecessary rumors of 
battles impending ; on the contrary, he di^ everything to amuse 
and divert her; gave her a most elegant breakfast, dinner, 
lunch, and got up a ball for her that evening, when he danced 
with her every single dance. 

Poor Bulbo was taken into favor again, and allowed to go 
quite free now. He had new clothes given him, was called 
“ My good cousin ” by his Majesty, and was treated with the 
greatest distinction by everybody. But it was easy to see he 
was very melancholy. The fact is, the sight of Betsinda, who 
looked perfectly lovely in an elegant new dress, set poor Bulbo 
frantic in love with her again. And he never thought about 
Angelica, now Princess Bulbo, whom he had left at home, and 
who, as we know, did not care much about him. 

The king, dancing the twenty-fifth polka with Rosalba, re- 
marked with wonder the ring she wore ; and then Rosalba told 
him how she had got it from Gruffanuff, who no doubt had 
picked it up when Angelica flung it away. 

“Yes,” says the Fairy Blackstick — who had come to seethe 
young people, and who had very likely certain plans regarding 
them — ■“ that ring I gave the Queen, Giglio’s mother, who was 
not, saving your presence, a very wise woman : it is enchanted, 
and whoever wears it looks beautiful in the eyes of the wqrld. 
I made poor Prince Bulbo, when he was christened, the present 
of a rose which made him look handsome while he had it ; but 
he gave it to Angelica, who instantly looked beautiful again, 
whilst Bulbo relapsed into his natural plainness.” 

“ Rosalba needs no ring, I am sure,” says Giglio, with a 
low bow. “ She is beautiful enough, in my eyes, without any 
enchanted aid.” 

“ Oh, sir ! ” said Rosalba. 

“ Take off the ring and try,” said the King, and resolutely 
drew the ring off her finger. In his eyes she looked just as hand- 
some as before ! 

The King was thinking of throwing the ring away, as it was 

5 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 



SO dangerous and made all the people so mad about Rosalba ; 
but being a prince of great humor, and good-humor too, he cast 
eyes upon a poor youth who happened to be looking on very 
disconsolately, and said — 

“ Bulbo my poor lad ! come and try on this ring. The 
Princess Rosalba makes it a present to you.” The magic 
properties of this ring were uncommonly strong, for no sooner 
had Bulbo put it on, but lo and behold, he appeared a person- 
able, agreeable young prince enough — with a fine complexion, 
fair hair, rather stout, and with bandy legs ; but these were 
encased in such a beautiful pair of yellow morocco boots that 
nobody remarked them. And Bulbo’s spirits rose up almost 
immediately after he had looked in the glass, and he talked to 
their Majesties in the most lively, agreeable manner, and danced 
opposite the Queen with one of the prettiest Maids of Honor, 
and after looking at her Majesty, could not help saying, “ How' 
very odd ; she is very pretty, but not so extraordinarily hand- 
some.” “ Oh, no, by no means ! ” says the Maid of Honor. 

“ But what care I, dear sir,” says the Queen, w'ho overheard 
them, “ if you think I am good-looking enough ? ” 

His Majesty’s glance in reply to this affectionate speech 
was such that no painter could draw it. And the Faiiy Black- 
stick said, “ Bless you, my darling children ! Now you are 
united and happy ; and now you see what I said from the first, 
that a little misfortune has done you both good. You, Giglio, 
had you been bred in prosperity, would scarcely have learned 
to read or write — you would have been idle and extravagant, 
and could not have been a good king as you now will be. You, 
Rosalba, would have been so flattered, that your little head 
might have been turned like Angelica’s, who thought herself 
too good for Giglio.” 

“ As if anybody could be good enough for him,^^ cried 
Rosalba. 

“ Oh, 3^ou, you darling ! ” says Giglio. And so she was ; 
and he was just holding out his arms in order to give her a hug 
before the whole company, when a messenger came rushing in 
and said, “ My Lord, the enemy ! ” 

, “ To arms ! ” cries Giglio. 

“ Oh, mercy ! ” says Rosalba, and fainted of course. He 
snatched one kiss from her lips, and rushed forth to the field 
of battle ! 

The Fairy had provided King Giglio with a suit of armor 
which was not only embroidered all over with jewels, and 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


233 


blinding to your eyes to look at, but was w^ater-proof, gun- 
proof, and sword-proof : so that, in the midst of the very hot- 
test battles, his Majesty rode about as calmly as if he had been 
a British Grenadier at Alma. Were I engaged in fighting for 
my country, I should like such a suit of armor as Prince Giglio 
wore ; but, you know, he was a prince of a fairy tale, and they 
always have these wonderful things. 

Besides the fairy armor, the Prince had a fairy horse, 
which would gallop at any pace you please ; and a fairy sword, 
which would lengthen, and run through a whole regiment of 
enemies at once. With such a weapon at command, I wonder, 
for my part, he thought of ordering his army out ; but forth 
they all came, in magnificent new uniforms: Hedzoff and the 
Prince’s two college friends each commanding a division, and 
his Majesty prancing in person at the head of them all. 

Ah! if I had the pen of a Sir Archibald Alison, my dear 
friends, would I not now entertain you with the account of a 
most tremendous shindy 'i Should not fine blows be struck ? 
dreadful wounds be delivered.^ arrows darken the air.^ cannon- 
balls crash through the battalions ? cavalry charge infantry ? 
infantry pitch into cavalry ? bugles blow ; drums beat ; horses 
neigh ; fifes sing ; soldiers roar, swear, hurray ; officers shout 
out, Forward, my men ! ” This way, lads ! ” “ Give it ’em, 
boys ! ” “ Fight for King Giglio and the cause of right ! ” 
“ King Padella forever ! ” Would I not describe all this, I 
say, and in the very finest language too.? But this humble pen 
does not possess the skill necessary for the description of com- 
bats. In a word, the overthrow of King Padella’s army was 
so complete, that if they had been Russians you could not 
have wished them to be more utterly smashed and confounded. 

As for that usurping monarch, having performed acts of 
valor much more considerable than could be expected of a 
royal ruffian and usurper, who had such a bad cause, and who 
was so cruel to women, — as for King Padella, I say, when his 
army ran away the King ran away too, kicking his first General, 
Prince Punchikoff, from his saddle, and galloping away on the 
Prince’s horse, having, indeed, had twenty-five or twenty-six of 
his own shot under him. Hedzoff coming up, and finding 
Punchikoff down, as you may imagine, very speedily disposed 
of hhn. Meanwhile King Padella was scampering off as hard 
as his horse could lay legs to ground. Fast as he scampered, I 
promise you somebody else galloped faster ; and that individual, 
as no doubt you are aware, was the royal Giglio, who kept 
bawling out, “ Stay, traitor 1 Turn, miscreant, and defend thy- 


234 


THE ROSE AND THE KING. 


self ! Stand, tyrant, coward, ruffian, royal wretch, till I cut thy 
ugly head from thy usurping shoulders ! ” And, with his fairy 
sword, which elongated itself at will, his Majesty kept poking 
and prodding Padella in the back, until that wicked monarch 
roared with anguish. 

When he was fairly brought to bay, Padella turned and 
dealt Prince Giglio a prodigious crack over the sconce with 
his battle-axe, a most enormous weapon, which had cut down 
I don’t know' how many regiments in the course of the after- 
noon. But law bless you ! though the blow fell right down 
on his Majesty’s helmet, it made no more impression than 
if Padella had struck him with a pat of butter : his battle- 
axe crumbled up in Padella’s hand, and the royal Giglio 
laughed for very scorn at the impotent efforts of that atrocious 
usurper. 

At the ill success of his blow the Grim Tartar monarch was 
justly irritated. “If,” says he to Giglio, “you ride a fairy 
horse, and wear fairy armor, what on earth is the use of my hit- 
ting you ? I may as well give myself up a prisoner at once. 
Your Majesty won’t, I suppose, be so mean as to strike a poor 
fellow who can’t strike again? ” 

The justice of Padella’s remark struck the magnanimous 
Giglio. “ Do you yield yourself a prisoner, Padella ? ” says he. 

“ Of course I do,” says Padella. 

“ Do you acknowledge Rosalba as your rightful Queen, and 
give up the crown and all your treasures to your rightful mis- 
tress ? ” 

“ If I must I must,” says Padella, who was naturally very 
sulky. 

By this time King Giglio’s aides-de-camp had come up, 
whom his Majesty ordered to bind the prisoner. And they 
tied his hands behind him, and bound his legs tight under his 
horse, having set him wdth his face to the tail ; and in this 
fashion he was led back to King Giglio’s quarters, and thrust 
into the very dungeon where young Bulbo had been confined. 

Padella (wffio was a very different person, in the depth of 
his distress, to Padella the proud wearer of the Grim Tartar 
crown,) now most affectionately and earnestly asked to see his 
son — his dear eldest boy — his darling Bulbo; and that good- 
natured young man never once reproached his haughty parent 
for his unkind conduct the day before, when he would have left 
Bulbo to be shot without any pity, but came to see his father, 
and spoke to him through the grating of the door, beyond 
which he was not allowed to go ; and brought him some Sand' 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


235 

wiches from the grand supper which his Majesty was giving 
above stairs, in honor of the brilliant victory which had just 
been achieved. 

“ I cannot stay with you longj sir,” says Bulbo, who was in 
his best ball-dress, as he handed in his father the prog. “ I 
am engaged to dance the next quadrille with her Majesty 
Queen Rosalba, and I hear the fiddles playing at this very 
moment.” 

So Bulbo went back to the ball-room, and the wretched 
Padella ate his solitary supper in silence and tears. 

All was now joy in King Giglio’s circle. Dancing, feasting, 
fun, illuminations, and jollifications of all sorts ensued. The 
people through whose villages they passed were ordered to 
illuminate their cottages at night, and scatter flowers on the 
roads during the day. They were requested — and I promise 
you they did not like to refuse — to serve the troops liberally 
with eatables and wine ; besides, the army was enriched by the 
immense quantity of plunder which was found in King Padella’s 
camp, and taken from his soldiers ; who (after they had given 
up everything) were allowed to fraternize with the conquerors ; 
and the united forces marched back by easy stages towards 
King Giglio’s capital, his royal b.anner and that of Queen 
Rosalba being carried in front of the troops. Hedzoff was 
made a Duke and a Field Marshal. Smith and Jones were 
promoted to be Earls ; the Grim Tartar Order of the Pumpkin 
and the Paflagonian decoration of the Cucumber were freely 
distributed by their Majesties to the army. Queen Rosalba 
wore the Paflagonian Ribbon of the Cucumber across her 
riding habit, whilst King Giglio never appeared without the 
grand Cordon of the Pumpkin. How the people cheered them 
as they rode along side by side ! They were pronounced to be 
the handsomest couple ever seen : that was a matter of course.; 
but they really were very handsome, and, had they been other- 
wise, would have looked so, they were so happy ! Their Maj- 
esties were never separated during the whole day, but break- 
fasted, dined, and supped together always, and rode side by 
side, interchanging elegant compliments, and indulging in the 
most delightful conversation. At night, her Majesty’s ladies 
of. honor (who had all rallied round her the day after King 
Padella’s defeat) came and conducted her to the apartments 
prepared for her ; whilst King Giglio, surrounded by his gentle* 
men, withdrew to his own Royal quarters. It was agreed they 
should be married as soon as they reached the capital, and 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


. 236 

orders were despatched to the Archbishop of Blombodinga, to 
, hold himself in readiness to perform the interesting ceremony. 
Duke Hedzoff carried the message, and gave instructions to 
have the Royal Castle, splendidly refurnished and painted 
. afresh. The Duke seized Glumboso, the ex-Prime Minister, 
' and made him refund that, considerable sum of money which the 
. old sCoundrerhad secreted but of the late King’s trea.sureC ..He 
also clapped Valoroso into prison (who, by the ' way, hadj. been 
dethroned for some considerable period past), and when the ex- 
monarch weakly remonstrated, Hedzoff said, “ A soldier, Sir, 
knows but his duty ; my orders are to lock you up along with 
the ex-King Padella, whom I have brought hither a prisoner 
under gpard.” So these two ex-Royal personages were sent for 
a year to the House of Correction, and thereafter were obliged 
to become monks of the severest order of Flagellants — in which 
state, by fasting, by vigils, by flogging (which they administered 
to one another, humbly but resolutely), no doubt they exhibited 
a repentance for their past misdeeds, usurpations, and private 
and public crimes. 

As for Glumboso, that rogue was sent to the galleys. 2 nd 
never had an opportunity to steal any more. 


XVIII. 

HOW THEY ALL JOURNEYED BACK TO THE CAPITAL. 

The Fairy Blackstick, by whose means this young King and 
Queen had certainly won their respective crowns back, w^ould 
come not unfrequently to pay them a little visit — as they were 
riding in their triumphal progress towards Giglio’s capital — 
change her wand into a pony, and travel by their Majesties’ 
side, giving them the very best advice. I am not sure that 
King Giglio did not think the Fairy and her advice rather a 
bore, fancying that it was his own valor and merits which had 
put him on his throne, and conquered Padella: and, in fine, 1 
fear he rather gave himself airs towards his best friend and 
patroness. She exhorted him to deal justly by his subjects, to 
drayv mildly on the taxes, never to break his promise when he 
had once given it — and in all respects to be a good King. 

“ A good King, my dear Fairy ! ” cries Rosalba. Of 
course he will. Break his promise 1 can voii fanc\ niv Giulic* 


THE ROSE AND THE RING, 


237 

would ever do anything so improper, so unlike liim> No! 
never!” And she looked fondly towards Giglio, whoiu she 
thought a pattern of perfection. ■ 

Why is Fairy Blackstick always advising me, and telling 
me how to manage my government, and warning 'me to keep my 
word ? Does she suppose that I am not a man of sense, and a 
man of honor ?” asks Giglio, testily. Meth inks she rather 
presumes upon her position,” 

** Hush ! dear Giglio,” says Rosalba, '‘You know Biack- 
stick has been very kind to us, and we must not offend her,” 
But the Fairy was not listening to Giglio’s testy observations : 
she had fallen back, and was trotting on her pony now, by 
Master Bulbo’s side — who rode a donkey, and made himself 
generally beloved in the army by his cheerfulness, kindness, and 
good-humor to everybody. He was eager to see his darling 
Angelica, He thought there never was such a charming being, 
Blackstick did not tell him it was the possession of the magic 
rose that made Angelica so lovely in his eyes. She brought 
him the very best accounts of his little wife, whose misfortunes 
and humiliations had indeed very greatly improved her; and 
you see, she could whisk off on her wand a hundred miles in a 
minute, and be back in no time, and so carry polite messages 
from Bulbo to Angelica, and from Angelica to Bulbo, and com- 
fort that young man upon his journey. 

When the Royal party arrived at the last stage before you 
reach Blombodinga, who should be in waiting, in her carriage 
there, with<her lady of honor by her side, but the Princess An- 
gelica ? She rushed into her husband’s arms, scarcely stopping 
to make a passing curtsey to the King and Queen, She had no 
eyes but for Bulbo, who appeared perfectly lovely to her on ac- 
count of the fairy ring which he wore ; whilst she herself, wear- 
ing the magic rose in her bonnet, seemed entirely beautiful to 
the enraptured Bulbo. 

A splendid luncheon was served to the Royal party, of which 
the Archbishop, the Chancellor, the Duke Hedzoff, Countess 
Gruffanuff, and all our friends partook — the Fairy Blackstick 
being seated on the left of King Giglio, with Bulbo and An- 
gelica beside. You could hear the joy-bells ringing in the 
capital, and the guns which the citizens were firing off in honor 
of their Majesties. 

“ What can have induced that hideous old Gruffanuff to 
dress herself up in such an absurd way } Did you ask her to 
be your bridesmaid, my dear ? ” says Giglio to Rosalba. 
n figure G ! ” 


238 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


Gruffy was seated opposite their Majesties, between the 
Archbishop and the Lord Chancellor, and a figure of fun she 
certainly was, for she was dressed in a low white silk dress, 
with lace over, a wreath of white roses on her wig, a splendid 
lace veil, and her yellow old neck was covered with diamonds. 
She ogled the King in such a manner, that his Majesty burst 
out laughing. 

“ Eleven o’clock ! ” cries Giglio, as the great Cathedral bell 
of Blombodinga tolled that hour. “ Gentlemen and ladies, we 
must be starting. Archbishop, you must be at church I think 
before twelve ? ” 

“ We must be at church before twelve,” sighs out Gruff- 
anuff in a languishing voice, hiding her old face behind her 
fan. 

“ And then I shall be the happiest man in my dominions,” 
cries Giglio, with an elegant bow to the blushing Rosalba. 

“ Oh, my Giglio ! Oh, my dear Majesty ! ” exclaims Gruff- 
anuff ; “ and can it be that this happy moment at length has 
arrived ” 

“Of course it has arrived,” says the King. 

“ — And that I am about to become the enraptured bride of 
my adored Giglio ! ” continues Gruffanuff. “ Lend me a 
smelling-bottle, somebody. I certainly shall faint with joy.” 

“ K?// my bride ? ” roars out Giglio. 

“ Fbu marry my Prince ? ” cries poor little Rosalba. 

“Pooh! Nonsense! The woman’s mad!” exclaims the 
King. And all the courtiers exhibited by their countenances 
and expressions, marks of surprise or ridicule, or incredulity or 
wonder. 

“ I should like to know who else is going to be married, if 
I am not ? ” shrieks out Gruffanuff. “ I should like to know if 
King Giglio is a gentleman, and if there is such a thing as 
justice in Paflagonia ? Lord Chancellor ! my Lord Archbishop ! 
will your lordships sit by and see a poor fond, confiding, tender 
creature put upon ? Has not Prince Giglio promised to marry 
bis Barbara ? Is not this Giglio’s signature ? Does not this 
])aper declare that lie is mine, and only mine ? ” And she handed 
to his Grace the Archbishop the document which the Prince 
signed that evening when she wore the magic ring, and Giglio 
drank so much champagne. And the old Archbishop, taking 
out his eye-glasses, read — “ This is to give notice that I, Giglio, 
only son of Savio, King of Paflagonia, hereby promise to marry 
the charming Barbara Griselda Countess Gruffanuff, and widow 
nf the late Jenkins Grulfanuff, Esq.” 


239 


THE ROSE AND THE RIJSfG. 

“ H’m,” says the Archbishop, “ the document is certainly a 
—a document.” 

“ Phoo ! ” says the Lord Chancellor : “ the signature is not 
in his Majesty’s handwriting.” Indeed, since his studies 
at Bosforo, Giglio had made an immense improvement in calig- 
raphy. 

“ Is it your handwriting, Giglio ? ” cries the Fairy Blackstick, 
with an av/ful severity of countenance. 

“ Y — y — ^y — es,” poor Giglio gasps out. “ I had quite for- 
gotten the confounded paper : she can’t mean to hold me by it. 
You old wretch, what will you take to let me off? Help the 
Queen, some one — her Majesty has fainted.” 

“ Chop her head off ! ” | exclaim the impetuous Hedzoflf, 

“ Smother the old witch ! ” > the ardent Smith, and the 

“ Pitch her into the river ! ” J faithful Jones. 

But Gruffanuff Apng her arms round the Archbishop’s neck 
and bellowed out, “ Justice, justice, my Lord Chancellor ! ” so 
loudly, that her piercing shrieks caused everybody to pause. 
As for Rosalba, she was borne away lifeless by her ladies ;^ and 
you may imagine the look of agony which Giglio cast towards 
that lovely being, as his hope, his joy, his darling, his all in 
all, was thus removed, and in her place the horrid old Gruflf- 
anuff rushed up to his side, and once more shrieked out, “ Jus- 
tice, justice ! ” 

“ Won’t you take that sum of money which Glumboso hid ? 
says Giglio : two hundred and eighteen thousand millions, or 
thereabouts. It’s a handsome sum.” 

“ I will have that and you too ! ” says Gruffanuff. 

“ Let us throw the crown jewels into the bargain,” gasps 
out Giglio. 

“ I will wear them by my Giglio’s side ! ” says Gruffanuff. 

“ Will half, three-quarters, Ave-sixths, nineteen-twentieths, 
of my kingdom do. Countess ? ” asks the trembling monarch. 

“ What were all Europe to me without you^ my Giglio ? ” 
cries GruA, kissing his hand. 

• “ I won’t, I can’t, I sha’n’t, — I’ll resign the crown Arst,” 
shouts Giglio, tearing away his hand ; but GruA clung to it. 

“ I have a competency, my love,” she says, “ and with thee 
and a cottage thy Barbara v^ill be happy.” 

Giglio was half mad with rage by this time. “ I will not 
rriarry her,” says he. “Oh, Fairy, Fairy, give me counsel!” 
And as he spoke, he looked wildly round at the severe face of 
the Fairy Blackstick. 

“ ‘Why is Fairy Blackstick always advising me, and warning 


240 


THE ROSE AND IHE RING. 


me to keep my word ? Does she suppose that I am not a 
jnan of honor said the Fairy, quoting Giglio's own 
haughty words. He quailed under the brightness of her eyes ; 
he felt that there was no escape for him from that awful In- 
quisition. 

“ Well, Archbishop,” said he, in a dreadful voice that made 
his Grace start, “since this Fairy has led me to the height of 
happiness but to dash me down into the depths of despair, 
since I am to lose Rosalba, let me at least k^ep my honor. Get 
up, Countess,- and let us be married ; I can keep my word, but 
I can die afterwards.” 

“O dear Giglio,” cries Gruff anuff, skipping up, “I knew, 1 
knew I could trust thee — I knew that my Prince was the soul 
of honor. Jump into your carriages, ladies and gentlemen, and 
let us go to church at once ; and as for dying, dear Giglio, no, 
no: thou wilt forget that insignificant little chambermaid of a 
queen — thou wilt live to be consoled by thy Barbara ! She 
wishes to be a Queen, and not a Queen Dowager, my gracious 
lord ! ” And hanging upon poor Giglio’s arm, and leering and 
grinning in his face in the most disgusting manner, this old 
wretch tripped off in her white satin shoes, and jumped into the 
very carriage which had been got ready to convey Giglio and 
Rosalba to church. The cannons roared again, the bells pealed 
triple-bobmajors, the people came out flinging flowers upon the 
path of the royal bride and bridegroom, and Gruff looked out 
of the gilt coach window and bowed and grinned to them. 
Phoo 1 the horrid old wretch I 


XIX. 

AND NOW WE COME TO THE LAST SCENE IN THE PANTOMIME. 

The many ups and downs of her life had given the Princess 
Rosalba prodigious strength of mind, and that highly principled 
young woman presently recovered from her fainting-fit, out of 
which Fairy Blackstick, by a precious essence which the Fairy 
always carried in her pocket, awakened her. Instead of tear- 
ing her hair, crying, and bemoaning herself, and fainting again, 
as many young women would have done, Rosalba remembered 
that she owed an example of firmness to her subjects ; and 
though she loved Giglio more than her life, w’as determined, as 


TJ/E ROSE AND THE RING, 


241 


she told the Fairy, not to interfere between him and justice, or 
to cause him to break his royal word. 

“I cannot marry him, but I shall love him always, says 
she to Blackstick ; “ I will go and be present at his marriage 
with the Countess, and sign the book, and wish them happy 
with all my heart. I will see, when I get home, whether I 
cannot make the new Queen some handsome presents. The 
Criin Tartary crown diamonds are uncommonly fine, and I 
shall never have any use for them. I will live and die un- 
married like Queen Elizabeth, and of course I shall leave my 
crown to Giglio when I quit this world. Let us go and see 
them married, my dear Fairy; let me say one last farewell to 
him ; and then, if you please, I will return to my own do- 
minions.” 

So the Fairy kissed Rosalba with peculiar tenderness, and 
at once changed her wand into a very comfortable coach-and- 
four, with a steady coachman, and two respectable footmen 
behind, and the Fairy and Rosalba got into the coach, which 
Angelica and Bulbo entered after them. As for honest Bulbo, 
he was blubbering in the most pathetic manner, quite overcome 
by Rosalba’s misfortune. She was touched by the honest 
fellow's sympathy, promised to restore to him the confiscated 
estates of Duke Padella his father, and created him, as he sat 
there in the coach. Prince, Highness, and First Grandee of the 
Grim Tartar Empire. The coach moved on, and, being a fairy 
coach, soon came up with the bridal procession. 

Before the ceremony at church it was the custom in Pafia* 
gonia, as it is in other countries, for the bride and bridegroom 
to sign the Contract of Marriage, which was to be witnessed 
by the Chancellor, Minister, Lord Mayor, and principal officers 
of state. Now, as the royal palace was being painted and 
furnished anew, it w'as not ready for the reception of the King 
and his bride, who proposed at first to take up their residence 
at the Prince’s palace, that one which Valoroso occupied when 
Angelica was born, and before he usurped the throne. 

So the marriage-party drove up to the palace : the digni- 
taries got out of their carriages and stood aside : poor Rosalba 
-stepped out of her coach, supported by Bulbo, and stood almost 
fainting up against the railings, so as to have a last look of 
her dear Giglio. As for Blackstick, she, according to her cus- 
tom, had flown out of the coach window in some inscrutable 
manner, and was now standing at the palace door. 

Giglio came up the steps with his horrible bride on his arm, 
looking as pale as if he was going to execution. He only 

II 


242 


THE ROSE AND THE RING. 


frowned at the Fairy Blackstick — he was angry with her, and 
thought she came to insult his misery. 

“Get out of the way, pray,’’ says Gruffanuff, haughtily. 
“ I wonder why you are always poking your nose into other 
people’s affairs ? 

“ Are you determined to make this poor young man un 
happy ? ” says Blackstick. 

“ To marry him, yes ! What business is it of yours? Pray, 
madam, don’t say ‘ you ’ to a queen,” cries Gruffanuff. 

“ You won’t take the money he offered you ? ’ 

“No.” 

“ You won’t let him off his bargain, though you know you 
cheated him when 5^ou made him sign the paper.” 

“ Impudence 1 Policemen, remove this woman ! ” cries 
Gruffanuff. And the policemen were rushing forward, but 
with a wave of her wand the Fairy struck them all like so 
many statues in their places. 

“You won’t take anything in exchange foryour bond, Mrs. 
Gruffanuff,” cries the Fairy, with awful severity. “ I speak for 
the last time.” 

“ No ! ” shrieks Gruffanuff, stamping with her foot. “ I’ll 
have my husband, my husband, my husband ! ” 

“You Shall have your Husband ! ” the Fairy Blackstick 
cried ; and advancing a step, laid her hand upon the nose of 
the Knocker. 

As she touched it, the brass nose seemed to elongate, the 
open mouth opened still wider, and uttered a roar which made 
everybody start. The eyes rolled wildly ; the arms and legs 
uncurled themselves, writhed about, and seemed to lengthen 
with each twist ; the knocker expanded into a figure in yellow 
livery, six feet high ; the screws by which it was fixed to the 
door unloosed themselves, and Jenkins Gruffanuff once 
more trod the threshold off which he had been lifted more 
than twenty years ago i 

“ Master’s not at home,” says Jenkins, just in his old voice; 
and Mrs. Jenkins, giving a dreadful fell down in a fit, in 
which nobody minded her. 

For everybody was shouting, “ Huzzay ! huzzay ! ” “ Hip, 

hip, hurray ! ” “ Long live the King and Queen ! ” “ Were 

such things ever seen ? ” “ No, never, never, never ! ” “ The 

Fairy Blackstick forever ! ” 

The bells were ringing double peals, the . guns roaring and 
banging most prodigiously. Bulbo was embracing everybody ; 


THE ROSE AND THE RING 


243 




the Lord Chancellor was flinging up his wig and shouting like 
a madman ; Hedzoff had *got the Archbishop round the waist, 
and they were dancing a jig for joy j and as for Giglio, I leave 
you to imagine what he was doing, and if he kissed Rosalba 
once, twice — twenty thousand times, I’m sure I don’t think he 
was wrong. ' ' 

So Gruffanuff opened the hall-door with a low bow, just as 
he had been accustomed to do, and they all went in and signed 
the book, and then they went to church and were married, and 
the Fairy Blackstick sailed away on her cane, and was never 
more heard of in Paflagonia. 


AND HERE ENDS THE EIRESIDE PANTOMIME. 


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“BEYOND THE SUNRISE:” 

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1 voh 12mo, paper, .50' 

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Thb subjects treated in this volume, wliich is the pro- 
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outline the philosophy of Psychology, and relate phenomena 
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Or, THE NEW UTOPIA. 

By LORD LYTTON. 

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By LORD LYTTON. 

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The plot shows discrimination of judgment as well as force of expression, 
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Or, The House and the Brain, to w'hich is added, Calderon, the 

Courtier 

By LORD LYTTON. 

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I^EOEISTTILiY r^XJSLISIiED- 

HEART AND SCIENCE. 

By WILKIE COLLINS. 

1 Vol., 12mo., cloth, gilt $1.00 

1 “ “ paper 50 

Also in Lovell'd Library, No. 87 .20 

“ Benjulia” is a singularly interesting, and, in a way, fascinating creation. 
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more powerful than las sketch of B'lijul a s last hours. Mr. Gallilee and Zoc 
are capiial examples of genuine and unforced humor; and the bock, as a 
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Academy. 

Mr. Wilkie Collins’ latest novel is certainly one of the ablest he has writ- 
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stone,’ consequently it may trutufnlly be described as a masterpiece in the 
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‘‘ We doubt whether the author has ever written a cleverer story. ... An* 
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By OUIDA. 


1 vol., 12mo., cloth, gilt $1.00 j 

1 “ “ paper 60 

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“‘Wanda’ is the story by which Ouida will probably be judged by the 
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and not disfigured ny any oue of her few defects. lu point of coustrucUon this 
most rece t contribution to the fictional literature of the day is perfect; the 
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terpieces. Ouida is seen at her brightest and be-t in ‘Wanda’ the book ttirills 
by t,.s dramatic interest, and delights by its singular freshness and unconven- 
tion il style. There are no more attractive characters in English fiction than 
Wuniaandher peasant husband, and increased fame i list result tO the bril- 
liant novelist iruin this her latest work.”- St. Stephen's Peview. 

‘‘ We do not know anything Ouida has doue ..hat equals this, her latest 
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fine, high-sonled character.” — Citizen. 

“ \ powerful and fascinating novel, deeply interesting, with excellent 
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novels "—Darlington Post. 

‘•‘Wanda ’ contains much that is striking. The central idea is finely 
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ou tire whole, so well conceived and so skilfully wrought oat."— Spectator. 

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Mr. William Blj 
YOLANDE, The S 
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36, 20 cents. 

numerous admirers that his right 
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‘‘‘Tolande’ will plea®e ani interest 
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published in Blackwood’s Magt 
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laird John Erskine, and of the most 
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ular. There is something good in all 
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acter. Brought up in Rome, on the 
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RECENTLY PUBLISHED- 

UNDERGROUND RUSSIA: 

Revolutionary Profiles and Sketches from Life. 

By STEPNIAK, formprly Editor of “ Zemlia i Volia (Land and 
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from the Italian, 1 vol. 12mo., paper cover, Lovell’s Library, 
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An Outline of the History of Ireland, 

Prom the Earliest Times to the present day. 

By JUSTIN H. McCARTHY. 1 vol. 12mo., Lovell’s Library 
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distinguished journalist and author —Christian World. 

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ago pointed out, all cries for the remedy of specific Irish griovances are now 
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legends to the autumn of 1882 The charm of the st>lt and the impetuousness 
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■ Edited by JOHN MOELEY. 

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Scott. By R, H. H it con. 

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TTJST IPXTBI-iISX^iEID. 

VICE VERSA; 

Or, A LESSON TO FATHERS. 

By F. ANSTEY, 

I vol., 12mo,, cloth gilt, $1 00 1 vol.. 12mo,, paper. .50 cents; also in Lovell’s ! 

Library No. 30, 20 cents 

EXTRACTS FROM NOTICES BY THE PRESS. 

THE SATURDAY REVIEW If there ever viis a book made np from 
beginning to end ol laughter, yet not a comic book, or a ‘merry’ book, or a 
book of jokes, or a book of pictures, or a jest book, or a tomfool book, but a 
perfectly sober and serious book, in the reading of which a sober man may 
laugh witlioit shame from beginning to end it is the book called '•Vice 
Versa; or. a Lesson to Fathers ’ We close the book, recommending it 
very earnestly to aM fathers, in the first instance, and their sons, nephews, 
uncles, and male cousins next.” 

THE PALL MALL GAZETTE.— “ ‘Vice Versfi is one of the most 
diverting books that we have read for many a day. It is equally calculated to 
amuse the August idler, and to keep up the spirits of those who stay in town 
and work, while others are holiday making The book is singularly well 
w'ritten, graphic, terse, and full of nerve. The school boy conversations are 
to the life, and every scene is brisk and well considered.” 

THE ATHEN.d2Ui\I.—‘‘ The whole story is told with delightful drollery 
and spirit, and there is not a dull page in the volume. It should be added that 
Mr.Anstey writes well, and in a style admirably suited to his amusing subject ’ 

THE SPECTATOR — ” Mr. Anstey deseiYes the thanks of everybody for ■ 

showing that there is still a little fun left in this world It is long c.nce wo 

read anything more truly humorous . . We must admit that we have not 

laughed so heartily over anything for some years back as we have over tnia 
‘ Lesson for Fathers.’ ” 

THE ACADEMY.—” It is certainly the best book of its kind that has ap- 
peared for a long time, and in the way of provoking laughter by certain old-^ 
fashioned means, which do not involve satire or sarcasm, it has lew rivals.” j 

THE WORLD.— ” The idea of a father and eon exchanging their identify 
has suggested itself to many mmds before now. It is illustrated in this book 
with surprising freshness, originality and force . he book is more than 
wildly comic and amusing; it is in parts exceedingly pathetic ” 

THE COURT JOUkjNAli.— ‘T he story is told with so much wit and i 
gayety that we cannot be deceived in our impression of the future career of F. I 
Anstey being destined to attain the greatest success among the most popular 
authors of the day.” 

VANITY FA I tv —‘• The book is. In our opinion, the drollest work ever 
written in the English language.” 

TRUTH. — “ Mr. Anstey has done an exceedingly difficult thing so admira- 
bly and artfully as to conceal its difficulties. Haven’t for years re^ so irresist- 
ibly humorous a book.” 


NEW* YORK: 

JOHH W. LOVELL CO., 14 and 16 Vesey Street. 


LOVELL’S LIBRAEV ADVERTISER. 


THE 200TH ISSUE OF LOVELL’S LIBRARY. 


T * t**T " ' 'Ll 'I 


1 



!\o. 200, in Lovell's Library 20 cents 


The jinblisbers of Lovell's Library have signalized the issue of the2C0th 
vor.imc of their now successful series by the publication of Banyan’s renowned 
allej^ory. ''’The Pilgrim's Progress.” A people's edition of this inimitable work 
of genius fittingly marks the progress of this library— i's advance upon its 
competitors, and the favor and acceptance of its successive issues by the read- 
j ing public of America. ” The Pilgrim’s Progress ” is supposed to be a dream, 
! and to allegorize the life of a Christian from his conversion to his death. His 
• doubt's are giants; his sine, a pedler’s pack; hisE'ble, a cha't; his minister, 
I Evangelist ; his conversion, a flight from the C ity of Destruction ; his struggle 
with besetting sins, a fight with Apollyon ; his death, a toilsome passage over 
j a deep stream, and so on. 

t “ The style of Banyan is delightful to every reader and invaluable as a 

i study to every per.-^on who wishes to obtain a wide command over the English 

language For magnificence, for pathos, for vehement exhortation, 

j for subtle disquisition, for every purpose of the poet; the orator and the divine, 
! this homely dialect, the dialect of plain vvorkingmen, was perfectly sufficient. 
’■ There is no book in our libraries on which we could so readi’y stake the fame 
! of the o'd unpolluted English language ; no book which shows so well how 
■ rich that language is in its own proper w’ealih, and how little it has been im- 

I proved by all that it has borrowed We are not afraid to say that, 

J though there were many clever men in England during the latter half of the 
j Seventeenth Century, there were only two creative minds. One of those minds 
I produced the ‘ Paradise Lost the other, ' The Pilgrim’s Progress.’ ” — Loro 

i ilACAPLAY. 

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THE SPOOPENDYKE PAPERS, by Stanley Huntley, of 

the BrooJdyn Eagle. 

A book of domestic scenes, between a nervous, petulent husband 
and a patient, unsophisticated wife. The irritable Spoopendyke 
and his meek spouse are most amusing creations. 

PIKE COUNTY FOLKS, by E. H. Mott, of the N. Y. Sun, 
illustrated by F. Opper, of Puck. 

Truthful Talks in uncontrollable language — irresistibly funny. 

JETS AND FLASHES, by Henry Clay Lukens (Erratic En- 
rique), the “New York News’ Man,” illustrated by Rene Bache. 

“A more acceptable or timely work by a native manufacturer of 
broad grins can hardly be found.” — iV. Y. Har. 

FAMOUS FUNNY FELLOWS, by Will M. Clemens, illustrated 
with portraits of notable humorists. 

Brief biographical sketches of American humorists, with extracts 
from their funniest inspirations. 

GRANDFATHER LICKSHINGLE, AND OTHER 

SKETCHES, by R. W. Criswell, of the Cincinnati Enquirer, 
profusely illustrated. 

A quaint literary creation. 

WIDOW 3EDOTT PAPERS, by Mrs. Frances M. Whitcher, 
originally contributed to Neal’s Saturday Gazette. 

THE CHOICE WORKS OF THOMAS HOOD, in Prose 
and '^erse, including the cream of the Comic Annuals, with 2Q0 
illust itions. 

MRS. CAUDLE’S CURTAIN LECTURES, by Douglas 
Jerrold, editor of Punch. 

?!'rs. Margaret Caudle’s inimitable night lectures, delivered during 
V period of thirty years, to her sulky husband. Job Caudle. 


-w YorJiz r'mY W. I.OVEI.L. CO., 14 & 16 Vesey St, 


1RRESIST4BLY DROLL! 


GRANDFATHER LICKSHINRLE 


AND OTHER SKETCHES. 

By R. W. CRISWELL, of the Cincinnati Enquirer, 

Author of “ The New Shakespeare” and Other Travesties. 

A YOLTJME OF GENUINE HUMOR 1 


1 vol., 12mo., cloth, gilt, - - $1.00 

1 “ “ paper, . . - .50 


“ Kas made a wide reputation as a humorist.” — Broolclyn Eagle. 

“ One of the acknowledged humorists of the day.” — N. T. Mail and 
Express, 

“ Has acquired a national fame.” — Utica Observer. 

“ His humor is as natural as sunlight.” — Robt J. Burdette. 

“ Won a national reputation.” — Pittsburgh Commercial Gazette, 

“ One of the brightest writers of the day.” — Burlington HawTceye. 

“ Has taken and held a place in the front rank.” — N. T. Truth. 

“ There has been no brighter writer on the American press in the 
past fifteen years.” — Elmira Advertiser . 

“Mr. Criswell’s writings are thoroughly original.” — Bloomington 
Eye. 

“ A reputcation enjoyed by few of his age.” — Bradford Star. 

“ His humor is quaint and scholarly.” — Cincinnati Catholic Tele- 
graph, 

“ He imitates nobody.” — New York Sun. 

“ Has made a world-wide reputation.” — Louisville Courier- Joumalo 


JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY, Publiskers, 

14 & 16 Vesey Street, New York. 


LOVELL'S LIBRA.RY^' ADVERTISER. 


I^EC ENTITY PETBLISIIEE. 

False Hopes; 

OR, 

FALLACIES, SOCIALISTIC AM> SEMl-SOCIALISTIC, 
BRIEFLY ANSWERED. 


An Address, by Prof. GOLDWITiT SMITH, D.C.L. 


No. 110, Lovell’s Library 15 cents 

** This is the title of a pamphlet in which Mr. Goldvia Smith disserts and 
lays bare, iu the most unimpassioued way, but with tlie keein-st of literary 
scalpels, the fallacies involved in communism, eociaUt-m, nationalization of 
laud, strikes, the various plans in vogue for emancipating labor from the 
■dominion of capital. Protection, and some theories of innovation w ith regard to 
Currency and Ban king. The great number and prevalence of these diseases of 
the body politic are, he think-, mainly due to the departure or decline of re- 
ligious faith, which is so noticeable a feature of the present age: to popular 
•ducation, which has gone far enough to make the masses think, but not think 
deeply ; to the ostentation of the vulgar rich, who ‘deserve, fully as much as 
the revolutionary artisans, the name of a dangerous class;’ to the democratic 
movement of the times ; and, to the revolution in science which ‘has helped 
to excite the spirit of change in every sphere, little as Utopianism is akin to 
sciGncQ.' '"—Tor ofito Globe. 


MR. SCARBOROUGH’S FAMILY | 

By ANTHONY TROLLOPE. 


1 vol., i2Tno., cloth, gilt $1.0) 

1 “ “ paper 50 

Also in Lovell’s Library, No. 133, 2 parts, each 16 


‘ In ‘Mr. Scarborough's Family’ there is abundance of ‘go,’ there are 
many Striking scenes, and there is one character at least which is original 
almost to incredibility. There arc light sketches of social life, one or two of 
them nearly in the author’s best manner, and many chapters which are ex- 
tremely entertaining. The story is so life-like and so extremely readable, that 
we lay it down with a pleasure largely leavened with xegtQV'— Saturday 
Remew. 

“ * Mr. Scarborough’s Family ’ is a very enjoyable novel. Mr. Trollope has 
never given ns two stronger or le-s commonplace characters than that terrible 
old pagan, John Scarborough, and hi- attorney. Grey, whom we agree with his 
eni'ployer in describing as ‘the sweetest and finest gentleman ' we ever came 
across.” — Academy. 

“‘Mr Scarborough’s Family ’ recalls all those features in Mr. Trollope’s 
books which have made them the pleasure and instruction of generations of 
novel readers. He is in his old vein, and he has a story to tell that is infinitely 
amusing. Mr. S arborough is a wonderful stu ly There is, indeed, no char- 
acter in the book that has not been carefully thought out. There is a delight- 
ful freshness about Flo-ence Mountjoy. She is a fiank, outsp; ken damsel, 
whose mind is as he ilthy as her body. It is needless to .say that the talk 
throughout the book is good. The novel as a whole, indeed, is one that will 
make r aders regr<*t more bitterly than ever that he who wrote it has gone from 
amongst us.” — Scotsman. 

JOHlSr W. LOVELL CO., 14 & 16 Vesey St., IST. Y. 


LOVELI. S LIBRARY -CATALOGUE. 


165. 

166. 

167. 

168. 

169. 

170. 

171. 

172. 
178. 

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18G. 

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216. 


Eyre’s Acquittal 10 

20,000 Leagues Under 
tbe Sea, by Verne. . . .20 
Anti-Slavery Days... .20 
Beauty’s Daughters.. .20 
Beyond the Sunrise. . . .20 
Hard Times, Dickens .20_ 
Tom Cringle’s Log. . . .20 

Vanity Fair .30 

Underground Russia. .20 
Middlemarch, Eliot.. .20 

Do., Part II 20 

Sir Tom, Mrs Oiiphant .20 
Pelham, by Lytton. . . .20 

The Story of Ida 10 

Madcap Violet, Blaci. .20 

The Little Pilgrim 10 

Kilmeny, by Black. ., .20 
Whist or Bumble- 

puppy? 10 

Tne Beautiful Wretch .20 

Her Mother’s Sin .20 

Green Pastures and 
Piccadilly, Black ... .20 
The Mysterious Island .15 

Do., Part II 15 

Do., Part III 15 

Tom Brown at Oxford .15 

Do., Part II 15 

Thicker than Water . . .20 
In Silk Attire, Black. .20 
Scottish Chiefs, P’t I.. 20 

Do., Part II 20 

Willy Reilly, Carleton .20 
The Nautz Family... .20 
Great Expectations. . . .20 
Pendeunis, Thackeray .20 

Do. , Part II 20 

Widow Bedott Papers .20 
Daniel Deronda, Eliot. .20 

Do., Part II 20 

Altiora Peto, Oiiphant .20 
By the Gate of the Sea .15 
Tales of a Traveller . . .20 
Life and Voyages of 

Columbus P’t I. .20 

Do. (Irving), Part II... .20 
The Pilgrim's Progress .20 
Martin Chuzzlewit. .. .20 

Do., Part II 20 

Theophrastus Such. . . .10 
Disarmed, M. Edwards .15 
Eugene Aram, Lytton .20 
The Spanish Gj'psy 

and Other Poems 20 

Cast Up by the Sea. . .20 

Mill on the Floss, P’t I .15 

Do. (Eliot), Part II 1.5 

Brother Jacob, Eliot. .10 

The Executor 20 

American Notes 15 

TheNewcomes, Parti .20 

Do.. Part II 20 

The Privateersmau ... .20 
The Three Feathers. .20 

Phantom Fortune 20 

Red Eric, Ballantyne. .20 
Lady Silverdale’s 
Sweetheart, Black. , . .10 


217. 

218. 

219. 

220 . 
221 . 
222 . 

223. 

224. 

226. 

226. 

227. 

228. 

229. 

280. 

231. 

232 

233. 

234. 

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247. 

2*18. 

249. 

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253. 

254. 

255. 

25C. 

257. 

2.58. 

259. 

260. 
261. 

262. 

263. 

264, 
625, 
266. 


The Four Macnicols. .10 
Mr. Pisifetratus Brown .10 
Dombey &.Sou, Part I 20 

Do., Part II .20 

Book of Snobs 10 

Grinlm’s Fairy Tales.. .20 
The Disowned, Lytton .20 
Little Dorrit, Dickens. .20 
Do., Part II....'. .... .20 
Abbotsford and New- 
stead Abbey, Irving. .10 

Oliver Goldsmith 10 

The Fire Brigade, 20 

Rifle and Hound in 

Ceylon 20 

Our Mutual Friend . . . .2o 

Do. Part II 20 

Paris Sketches 15 

Belinda, Broughton. . . .20 

Nicholas Nickleby 20 

Do., Part II 20 

Monarch Mincing Lane .20 
Eight Years Wander- 
ing in Ceylon, Baker .20 

Pictures from Italy 15 

Adventures of Philip. .15 

Do., Part II 15 

Knickerbocker His- 
tory of New Y ork ... .20 

The Boy at Mugby 10 

The Virginians, P’t I. .20 

Do., Part II 20 

Erling the Bold 20 

Kenelm Chillingly 20 

Deep Down 20 

Samuel Brohl & Co . . . .20 
Gautrau, by Farjeon.. .20 
Bleak House, Part I. . .20 

Do., Part II 20 

What Will He Do Wi’ It .20 

Do., Part II... 20 

Sketches of Young 

Couples 10 

Devereux, Lytton 20 

Life of Webster, 2 pts. .30 
'Phe Crayon Papers. . . .20 
TheCaxtons, Lytton, .15 

Do., Part 11 15 

Autobiography of An- 
thony Trollope. . V *20 
Critical Reviews, by 

Thackeray 10 

Lucretia, Lytton, P’t I .20 

Peter, the Whaler 20 

Last of the Barons.. .15 

Do., Part 11 15 

Eastern Sketches 15 

All in aGard n Fair. .20 
File No. 113, Gahoriau .20 
The Parisians, Lytton . .20 

Do., Part II 20 

Mrs. Darling’s Letters .20 
Master Humphrey’s 

Clock 10 

Fatal Boots, Thackr’y .10 
The Alhambra, Irving .15 
The Four Georges. .. .10 
Plutarch’s Lives, 5 pts 1.00 
Under tbe Red Flag. . . .10 


267. The Haunted House,. .10 

268. When the Ship Comes 

Home 

269. One False, both Fair, . 

270. Mddfog Papers 

271. My Novel, by Bulwer- 

Lytton. 3 parts 

272. Conquest of Granada.. 

273. Sketches by Boz 

274. A Christmas Carol 

275. loue Stewart, Linton. . 

276. Harold, Lytton, Part I 

Do., Part II 

277. Dora Thome — 

278. "Maid of Athens 

279. The Conquest of Spain 

280. Fitzboodle Papers 

281. Brace bridge Hall 

282. The Uncommercial 

Traveler 

283. Roundabout Papers. . . 

284. Rossmoyne, Duchess. 

285. A Legend of the Rhine 

286. Cox’s Diary 

287. Beyond Pardon, 

288. Somebody’s Luggage, 

and Mrs.’ Lirriper’s 
Lodgings 

289. Godolphin, Lytton — 

290. Salmagundi, Irving., . . 

291. Famous Funny Fel- 

lows, Clemens 

292. Irish Sketches 

293. The Battle of Life .... 

294. Pilgrims of the Rhine 

295. Random Shots, Adder 

296. Men’s Wives 

297. Mystery of Edwin 

Drood, by Dickens. . . 

298. Reprinted Pieces from 

299. Astoria, by W. Irving. 

300. Novels by Eminent 

Hands 

301. Spanish Voyages 

302. No Thoroughfare. . . . 

303. Character Sketches... 

304. Christmas Books. ..... 

305. A Tour on the Prairies 

306. Ballads of Thackeray.. 

307. Yellowplush Papers... 

308. Life of Mahomet, P’t I 

Do., Part II 

309. Sketches and Travels 

in London, Thack’ray 

310. Life of Goldsmith 

311. Capt. Bonneville 

312. Golden Girls, Alan Muir 

313. English Humorists . . . 

314. Moorish Chronicles... 

315. Winifred Power 

316. Great Hoggartv Dia- 

mond 

.317. Pausanias, Lytton 

318. The Nsw Abelard .... 

319. A Real Queen,. . . . 

320. The Rose and the Ring 

321 . Wolf erf s Roost, Irving 

322. Mark Seaworth 


.10 

.20 

.10 

.60 

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.15 

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